It’s a new dawn, a new day, and some of this is the same crap from the start of the month. It must be Twitch Prime! Instead, it’s like all my Christmas dreams come true, someone is disappointed at what they got. The annoying part is that I’m the one complaining, and I just like complaining. Anytime I can make someone cry or get angry my heart shrinks a little, and I don’t need to send a Christmas card that year. Let’s get to the loot, toot, and other guff.

As the week begins, we know what will continue, wrap up, and move on by the end of the week, including Destiny 2, Words with Friends, Rocket League, Dauntless, Legends of Runeterra, The Seven Deadly Sins: Grand Cross, and Black Desert Mobile. All the offers for these end between Tuesday the 26th and Friday the 29th. If you want any of that then be quick about it, and if you’ve missed it check the Twitch app or the webpage to see what’s new.

Speaking of new, the DOOMicorn is now gone. If you wanted to be the prettiest pink unicorn that smashes heads like pumpkins, you’re out of luck! If you want to look like what the 80s thought was a deadbeat parent, or what is now a German explicit film star, you want to pick up the Mullet Slayer collection. With beer strapped around the DOOM slayer’s waist and arms, a gut that would make Santa proud, and a mullet, you can look like you’ve never paid child support either. The Mullet Slayer Master collection is available until July 2nd. However, we do know Twitch will be releasing another master collection outfit in June. July players and subscribers get something “cosmetic.”

This week we have Mafia City, a game that thinks the mafia was run by the Third Street Saints, on its depressing spiral of “loot.” You got it! After the fourth run of “content,” players are still getting 50 gold, 500K in cargo, 500K of in-game cash, and 10 minutes of the total boosts to building and training speed-ups. I’ll be happy to repeat myself next week, possibly while being controlled by aliens.

If you like games being abused by those that create them then just wait a second, I’m sure the EA bus is just around the corner. If you look at FIFA 20 as more than a casual game to kick balls like a boy on the playground, you probably play FIFA Ultimate Team. The fourth of several Twitch Prime packs are available, providing players with a single player that might have a number that is greater than 82, four gold rare players, and one player on loan (for 7-games). So, the same as the previous pack.

THIS IS INSANE! 🔥 20+ Legendary @SNKPofficial are coming to #TwitchPrime this year!

Get started on May 26 with 7 free SNK Games! Play The King of Fighters 2002, Samurai Shodown II, Pulstar, and so much more! 👊🙏👑 pic.twitter.com/C6KdMUihSr

— Twitch Prime (@TwitchPrime) May 22, 2020

As was announced late last week, all through the summer there will be more games added to the listings or possibly taking up places from the usual five. Starting on the 26th, you’ll be able to pick up SNK classics all through-out the year, starting with Art of Fighting 2, Blazing Star, Fatal Sury Special, The King of Fighters 2000, The King of Fighters 2002, Pulstar, and Samurai Shodown II. The rest throughout the year will include: Garou: Mark of the Wolves, The Last Blade 2, Metal Slug 2, The King of Fighters ’98 Ultimate Match Final Edition, Sengoku 3, and King of the Monsters. If you like when games were locked in arcades by monsters, you can pick up these classics from the golden age of arcade gaming.

Finally, the game offered by Twitch Prime as the “free” game with prime this week is The Last Tinker: City of Colors. If I was five and high on Pixy Stix, I’m sure I’d be all over The Last Tinker. As I’m not a child nor do I have one, I don’t see a point in it. It is an action-adventure in every sense of the bland and colorless word, which is almost ironic in the truest sense and very ironic in that internet sense that doesn’t understand irony.

With the normal monthly five games resetting next Monday, it is best said now. This month was kind of crap. Maybe if you had something interesting come up with the cosmetic and mobile guff, it was interesting, but as someone specifically looking at the games, it’s not. Most of the month’s games in the “play apart together” thing targeting children, which is fine. Yet even the monthly five didn’t give depth to the catalog. The only thing I was excited about was Snake Pass, something already given on Twitch Prime, and maybe Urban Trial Playground; yet I still can’t be bothered to download it in a couple of clicks. This month there was just nothing gripping.

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