Hitman (2016) & Shadowrun Collection Are Free On Epic

Good news everyone! I’ve run out of funny introductions for this bit. Monday, I spoke about using LimeWire to get the hottest new shanties for yar high seas travel, David was happy someone stabbed Batman, and Mike was filled with glee to know an MMO is still alive. Tuesday, Dmitry spoke about Baldur’s Gate III coming to early access late September. Thursday, I went into a blood-curdling rage fit over Rocksteady’s useless responses to claims of harassment, and Zoë spoke about The Witcher‘s forthcoming AR game. Now, to the free games on the Epic Games Store this week.

The first game, or rather collection of games, is the one I strangely like. Yes, the digital transformation of the late 80’s tabletop sci-fi RPG Shadowrun is a series about crime, fantasy, conspiracy, and a number of genre-bending mixes. The first game (in fact) is one that I’d previously played, and still the only one I’ve found the time for. I’ve just recently mentioned while talking about God-president Reagan, that RPGs where I’m forced to read lengthy documents are RPGs that I’ll find excuses not to play. This rule includes ones I find appealing in theme or design. It is simply a part of dyslexia that drags me down with things like this.

Functionally comparable to other turn-based RPGs, (such as Wasteland) you’ll set up plans to not take damage and have the perfect shot, only to be thwarted moments later. Once again, I am not one to sit for days playing these sorts of games and I’ve only found minimal time for the first, which storywise intrigues me enough in a crime mystery way; however, the phrasing puts me off. The use of “Drek” as an in-game/universe swear just makes me want to bang my head off my desk. Something about reading things like that in these types of RPGs always puts me off continuing. Nonetheless, I still like the Shadowrun series, if not for the phrasing, the setting and genre-bending is wonderful.

Right, let’s get to the one I don’t like, though you’d think I should. I love the Hitman series the same way one loves the Yakuza, Dark Souls, or Doom series. There are flaws but you can understand them as fads. I don’t understand the episodic trend with such a game, or the idea of making the levels that you play over and over again in an aim to 100% it somehow. The new games make the levels huge, and shift it to something that’s not Hitman, at least not proper Hitman. The good ones deserve being held up on pillars for the rest of time. At the heart of it, Hitman is just a puzzle game, but with a lot more shooting than Zuma, Bejeweled, or Peggle, but fewer mass suicides than Lemmings.

Hitman (2016), with the most annoying naming convention that’s resumed of the last few years, is a checklist of things to do. That’s not a puzzle game. It is the anti-Obra Dinn, a game so shallow of mystery and intrigue through gameplay that it tells you to come back and do it all over again in a funny hat. The point of playing Hitman is to play it on the hardest difficulty with saving in levels turned off. Once you’ve completed the level you never go back, you’ve done it. You die, die, and die again, restarting at the beginning, and you’ve learned something new to complete the level: It’s Dark Souls.

The problem with that is the levels in both Hitman (2016) and Hitman 2 (2018) are huge. Mumbai in the second game has a whole tower, and the Paris mission in the first game is an entire estate mansion with a fashion show. It is much like my problem with Dishonored 2, you are traipsing across a continent to stab a bloke. The reference to the level A New Life from Blood Money, Another Life, is close to the idea of Hitman but still feels off all the same.

At the heart of it, the game is fine and that’s it, fine. I hate how much the fancy spectacle kills are signposted right down to the “you are here” notification on your lead character satnav vision that every protagonist has now. It means learning anything is just a loud conversation away, held in a wide-open area where no one notices the angry bald man pretending to be a tree. Not to mention the contextual button prompts of ledges you can climb on or pipes to climb down makes the entire thing feel like a funnel guiding me towards the target again.

The entirety of the Hitman (2016) and the Shadowrun series are available on the Epic Games Store until the 3rd of September. This is where I’d usually give a long whimper about what to expect next week, it’s just Into the Breach, again. The game that gave a whimper following the cosmic bang that was FTL: Faster Than Light. If it is, as I hope, the only game that’s part of this entire dreck; I’ll be happy because I can knock off early next week.