David’s Retro Rewind: Pokémon Channel

Now, I want to address right out of the gate the fact that I know this is a strange title for me to cover in a Retro Rewind. I mean, it’s ostensibly a game in which your primary objective is to watch Pokèmon-themed television programming while you happen to be accompanied by a stray Pikachu that somehow found its way into your house. That probably doesn’t sound all that entertaining on the surface.

However, there was a rather lengthy part of my childhood during which I was absolutely addicted to Pokémon Channel. I honestly have no earthly idea why that is, but I’m most definitely in the mood for a dose of that particular brand of nostalgia today. So, I intend to fire up my trusty Nintendo GameCube and hop on in to the time machine once again. I hope you’ll come along for the ride.

Before we start channel surfing, I’d like to continue my Retro Rewind tradition of providing a bit of background information about the game in question. Pokémon Channel was originally released on December 1st, 2003 in North America. It was developed primarily by a Nintendo subsidiary known as Ambrella. As you might expect given the game’s status as a first-party Nintendo title, it was exclusive to the GameCube and released about six months earlier in Japan than it did here in the United States.

The game begins with a quartet of Magnemite delivering a large television to your in-game house. Upon setting up your new TV, you’ll see good old Professor Oak. The Professor explains that he’s setting up a new television network that aims to exclusively air programming that Pokémon will enjoy watching. By chance, you’ve been chosen as the first test audience for that programming. It will be your job to watch as much TV as you can every in-game day, then tune your TV to Professor Oak’s “Report” channel so that you can tell him what you thought of everything you just watched.

If you’re anything like me, that probably sounds like a pretty sweet deal. You get a free TV with several included channels, and all you have to do in return is sit around watching everything it has to show you. That’s not all, though. As I alluded to earlier, you’ll soon be joined by a stray Pikachu who saw those Magnemite carrying that TV to your house. Pikachu followed their trail and ended up at your front door, then basically “asked” to be let inside to accompany you.

Despite the practical misgivings I would most assuredly have about letting a wild, electrically-charged, mouse-like Pokémon into my home, Professor Oak encourages players to let the Pikachu in. He theorizes that it “must really be interested in television.” I can’t fault the little guy for that, I must say. Oak figures that he can log the opinions of both you and your new Pikachu pal on his Pokémon-appropriate TV shows, so he asks that you let that Pikachu watch television with you as much as possible and tell him what Pikachu seems to think about the whole situation.

The first show Professor Oak asks you to watch in its entirety is the pilot episode of an anime entitled Pichu Bros. in Party Panic!. If nothing else, this show has an opening theme song that I can almost guarantee will get stuck in your head if you listen to the whole thing. In all honesty, I also find it rather cute because it centers around two Pichu and their group of Pokémon friends getting into various types of light-hearted shenanigans.

I wasn’t exactly watching the clock very closely while the first episode of Pichu Bros. aired, but by my estimation, the episode was about five minutes in length. I’d say that’s not too much of a time investment. After you’ve watched the episode all the way through, Professor Oak asks you to tune your TV to that aforementioned Report channel to give your feedback on it. There are two things about this process that I consider noteworthy.

For one, filing a report with Professor Oak via this channel is how you save your game. This can be done at any time when you’re watching TV. Secondly, you don’t have to actually enter any feedback into the report. You simply tap the on-screen “Report” button and Professor Oak handles the rest. I guess the game just assumes your reports are all filled with positive feedback about the programming you’ve watched thus far, which is absolutely fine with me.

After you watch the first episode of Pichu Bros. and file your report on it, Professor Oak informs you that a few new channels have just gone live. He makes it clear that he expects you to watch and report on their content as well. These channels include such programming as Smoochum Shape-Up, Pokémon News Flash, Shop ‘N’ Squirtle, and Quiz Wobbuffet. I’d like to explain these shows in a bit more detail, for little other reason than because I find them humorous and enjoyable for the most part.

Smoochum Shape-Up airs on the in-game “Fitness Channel.” It’s little more than a series of televised exercise videos led by the titular Pokémon. If not for the humor factor that can be found in the fact that your little buddy Pikachu attempts to do most of the exercises it sees on this channel, I think I would honestly find this show more disturbing than anything. I mean, I’m certainly not planning to get up and start exercising just because a kiss-happy Pokémon told me to. I have more important television to watch!

Next up is Pokémon News Flash, which also airs on its own channel. This program is full of amusing news stories delivered by its lead anchor, a Psyduck wearing a tie (Tie-duck?). There are also “on the scene” reports and interviews conducted by a talking Meowth, who serves as a PNF correspondent. Psyduck reports on several “scandals” that take place in the game’s universe, such as the program’s weather reporter, Slowpoke, being bribed by the Rock-type Pokémon Sudowoodo to purposely avoid forecasting rain.

Shop ‘N’ Squirtle is, as its name implies, a home shopping channel. A Squirtle in sunglasses will display three collectible in-game items that you can purchase with any currency you earn from various methods. These items can range from a binder in which you can store your Pokémon cards, to more of those titular cards to add to your collection, to Pokémon plush dolls. Any items you order will be delivered to you by the Pokémon Delibird the following morning. Considering I’m pretty sure this was well before Amazon Prime, I’d classify that shipping speed as rather impressive.

I think this channel is one of the biggest reasons why I considered myself addicted to Pokémon Channel when I was a kid. I wanted to collect as many of those Pokémon plush dolls as I could, and I have no idea why. I guess it’s better to be drawn to a fictional shopping channel that only accepts in-game currency rather than the real-world alternative. Even so, while playing this title back then, it was quite likely that I could be found watching either Shop ‘N’ Squirtle or Quiz Wobbuffet.

I like to describe Quiz Wobbuffet as what you would get if one of the most annoying Pokémon were chosen to succeed the late, legendary Alex Trebek as the host of Jeopardy!. It’s a game show in which three Pokémon contestants must answer at least three trivia questions correctly before either of their opponents do in order to be declared the winner of the contest. There can also be no declared winner in any given episode of the show, much to the host Wobbuffet’s dismay.

Quiz Wobbuffet is also your primary method of earning in-game currency that can then be spent while watching Shop ‘N’ Squirtle. During each episode of the quiz show, there will be at least one so-called “present question” that you’re able to answer instead of the show’s three primary participants. If you provide the correct response to it, you’ll typically earn around 100 units of currency. That can go a long way on the home shopping channel, and I know that from nearly shameful amounts of personal experience.

There’s honestly quite a bit more to Pokémon Channel that I haven’t mentioned, but I don’t really see a need to go into any of that. The last thing I want to mention is this: remember how I said earlier that I’d be at least somewhat concerned about allowing a Pikachu into my house? I say that because not even a full in-game day after your little buddy shows up, it electrocutes your original TV and leaves you stuck with a black-and-white model until Professor Oak can get it repaired. If that isn’t a sign not to trust wild Pokémon, I don’t know what is.

I hope I’ve conveyed to you the sense of pure nostalgia that has hit me as I went back to Pokémon Channel and subsequently wrote this article. The primary reason I keep this series at least somewhat active is that same wave of nostalgia I get from returning to games from my formative years, even if that wave doesn’t last as long as I initially thought it would. I’ll see you again soon for our next stop on the journey through the titles of my childhood, but for now, I need to put in a bid on this Shop ‘N’ Squirtle-exclusive Staryu plushie.