Warning: The following article may contain language unsuitable for some readers. Reader’s discretion is advised.

To continue on my misanthropy of last week: Steven, everyone loves when you climb up yourself for the sake of nostalgia, bringing back all the different designs of the Daleks, and do another bloody arc involving the Daleks. No one is going to hate that, literally no one. Aside from me, because I have the common sense not to be caught up in a wave of sentimentality for the old that plagues every fandom. Doctor Who is one of the worst for it. Also, I was talking about me, not Me, which is going to make this series very fun for my spell checker later on.

So this is the episode where the Doctor saves Davros, the leader of the Daleks and embodiment of an alive turkey being left in the oven too long, as a child. I will say, the war between the Thal and Kaled seems like the dumbest thing in the universe just from what is shown here. It looks like a WWI battlefield (minus trenches) and a plane that would be perfect for that era but is equipped with laser weapons to fight people with bows and arrows. It is such a mismatch of imagery and tactics. The ones with the flying machines and laser weapons should dominate since it is the motto of empires. Naturally, a gun beats a spear.

In truth, I don’t like the story. It is chaotic and sometimes fun but is cluttered in a hum of machinery or clashing sound of metal of museum pieces being rolled out once again for the latest hurrah that goes nowhere and does nothing. As a concept, the idea of the Doctor being the one to save Davros should be interesting. However, all jeopardy is lost with Steven climbing up himself once more to revel in what once was. Whenever someone is wearing a teleporter, the impending threat is pointless because you can use the energy of weapons to charge it, apparently.

I’m not just saying this because I hate Clara, but if you are going to kill a character the same way we’ve seen done hundreds of times, kill them. I think it was only a year or so before he did the same thing in Sherlock with Mary or something, and it just makes me question what got into Steven around this time. Everything suddenly turns dark and mysterious, a trend that followed into everything else like Star Trek suddenly having to be gritty with Discovery. Speaking of my hate for the latter half of the 2010s and shows that should be for everyone, when did we decide that “the bitch is back” is allowed in Doctor Who?

We get it again with Bill on Peter’s running: “like a penguin with its arse on fire.” I cannot for the life of me enjoy this era of Doctor Who when it is trying to be a moody teenager taking itself too seriously. This is the show with space rhino cops, little tin Nazis, deadly adipose tissue, and stone statues that move. Doctor Who is meant to be camp, ridiculous, and lighthearted, while also bringing a sense of danger to some bloody strawmen in “Human Nature.” This moody dredge into the dark and unfriendly nonsense just leaves me not enjoying the episode all over.

The point is that taking away the threat of death and putting in some (even light) swearing to the show leaves it outside of its comfort zone, and not in a good way. “The Magician’s Apprentice” and “The Witch’s Familiar” don’t stand out for their difference from all we’ve seen before, they stand out as a result of familiar characteristics. Either with the inclusion of classic-style Daleks, Missy’s wonderfully chaotic-good lines just to antagonize Clara, and the one-liners Steven puts in to show the Doctor always has the upper hand. Yes, it is all very quip-y, but not in the annoying Nathan Drake way.

It is a bit fun, whether it is “let’s make jam!” or flirtatiously tickling a Dalek’s balls while talking about “the dog’s unmentionables,” conversely, or Peter in Davros’ chair saying “So, anyone for dodgems?” What doesn’t do it for me is Peter riding a tank, playing a guitar while wearing sunglasses, and all of this in the middle of a medieval battle arena in Essex followed up by the 12-century equivalent of crap dad jokes. If it was 10, I might have gone for it. With Peter, it just looks like an aging rocker trying to cling to relevancy by taking more drugs and doing more stupid things.

This is the problem with Peter’s Doctor, and I said it in one of the reviews during the last series. I just don’t care for him. He isn’t the one I’d want sticking his hand out and saying “Run!” I’m left actually wanting Missy as my adventure pal. She’s the one that is doing all the fun stuff, getting into the fray. Ok, it might just be as a result of pushing Clara down that hole or trying to get her killed. Maybe it is the lines like “Time lady, some of us can afford the upgrade.” There is just something more alluring in the adventure with the evil one rather than the one that is supposed to be good.

There’s where the episode plateaus quite a bit, trying to drill in that Davros is regretful and mournful of his creation as he reiterates to the Doctor that his weakness is compassion. The compassion that saved Davros and resulted in the creation of his own greatest adversary outside of his own race, compassion that resulted in anger, not just from him but via the creation of the child he saved. All of which (in the end) says nothing and does nothing other than a factory reset to save Clara with another timey-wimey bit of nonsense. It is no longer clever because it is used so often and with such frivolity, it is no longer special.

There isn’t a remarkable revelation that is lasting, there is nothing worth pomp and circumstance. There was one line, “There’s no such thing as The Doctor. I’m just a bloke in a box, telling stories,” which could have been more somber and ever-lasting. However, it is lost in the cacophony of noise that is another Dalek story, reveling in the nostalgia of the series instead of stepping forward and doing something interesting and new. I say all of this knowing full well I am going to praise that speech from either “The Zygon Invasion” or “The Zygon Inversion,” and I am going to praise the living Christ out of “Heaven Sent.” Both of which wallow in the history of the show.

This reminds me that Jami Reid-Quarrell is fantastic when he isn’t the snake charmer of convenience for the plot. He is a fine actor and does some great work later on, but I just don’t care about Colony Sarff at all throughout the episode. Generally, the acting by everyone was great throughout, including the kid that played Davros. However, and you might have seen this coming from a mile away, Michelle Gomez is the only reason the episode is worth watching. She is the best part of most of Peter’s run, in fact. While grumpy eyebrows twiddles his thumbs, she makes the show fun still. Oh, and the hand mines are a great horror idea, wasted in Death Stranding.

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Doctor Who "The Magician's Apprentice" & "The Witch's Familiar"

6

Score

6.0/10

Pros

• Michelle Gomez is the heart of this era.
• Solid acting alround.
• A few great lines.

Cons

• A dull story that goes nowhere and zero threat.
• Everyone loves when Doctor Who goes more adult, just look at Class.
• Did Peter need to ride a tank?