For years now, I’ve seen the key-art for Biomutant and thought, “I should play that sometime,” forgetting it wasn’t out yet. Then I’d repeat this several times since its first announcement back in 2017, always assuming I’d get around to it one day when I finally found out what the game was about (and it was out). 

I’ve been playing a bit of Horizon Zero Dawn, which hit at the peak of the open-world fatigue among those who wanted something a bit different, which in part Zero Dawn was doing. Building a world around a post-apocalyptic environment where nordic culture became the default and being a single parent is a shun-able offense, apparently. Now, I feel I should say, I don’t hate Horizon Zero Dawn. I just find it to be in that region of games that if I were not playing other games I’d probably enjoy it. It is a very well-made bog-standard open-world action-adventure with an alright character.

Biomutant is what would happen if you crossed some Japanese-influenced RPG titles with those modern-day action-adventure games (like Horizon Zero Dawn) in the PS2 era. Some might think that’s a very heavy criticism, but really I’m trying to explain why some do/would enjoy it, while others might not out of the gate. I’d argue that the biggest difference between the two games is that polish that Sony gave to Zero Dawn vs what Biomutant has from the word go. There is just a roughness to it. Sometimes that can be charming, but sometimes it leaves more to be desired

One of the biggest gripes I’ve been having while trying to purposefully dodge spoilers and articles claiming there was something wrong with the game is the combat. Now take this for what it is, as I’m a man who enjoys Dark Souls the same way a botanist enjoys dirt and poo, but there is both nothing to it and an implied strategy to employ. Every punch, every bullet, every hit, and every fall, all feel as impactful as a fly smashing up against a glass sliding door. There is just no weight behind it, there is no clang from it or fleshy hits as bullets, knives, and rocket-powered gauntlets slash, rip, and impact with everything you end up fighting.

You play a mix of rat-cat kung-fu biped in this strange and wonderful world of post-apocalyptic destruction devoid of humanity. It is now inhabited by mutated crossbreeds. This is one of those PS2 bits I was on about, something full of color and the ability to not have humans or specific humanoids be the focus. Though herein lies another problem, one seemingly I’ve been spoiled on in some way. The story is done through a narrator/translator, with your furry little mutant not really doing much. That’s fine, we’ve seen characters stand (mostly) stock still during cutscenes before, huh Bioware?

However, throughout gameplay in the open-world, you have David Shaw-Parker doing what feels like a Kevan Brighting impression (that voice from The Stanley Parable). Yet all he’s doing in the open world is talking complete and utter nonsense under the guise of world-building. At a few points, you’ll even stop at posters and the such from before the world turned feral and it is elongated rubbish again. Some of it, I understand, as elevators are called “up and downs” to give you a sense the world has de-evolved.

This is what really irritates me about the whole story when you have characters do the typical (almost) Zelda-like mumbling/a made-up nonsensical language. It is only after the characters have finished that our narrator starts translating. This is similar to consecutive interpretation, which slows the pace down alongside rather clunky heavy-handed dialogue with the modern Mass Effect/Fallout style dialogue trees. Yes, it’s common in RPGs, but one sole voice doing the whole thing in what seems like a dull impression, sticking to this regressed and simple vocabulary, all functions as quite an irritant.

I’m not looking to just pick on Biomutant. I think when you are left to the open world, left to explore, left to take on the fortresses (similar to dungeons) it is fine. These elements are like meat and potatoes, nice and basic. However, when it is trying to bring forth that unique selling point that every game is meant to have, I’m left bored by it. The uniqueness that it is trying to portray isn’t as special as it wants you to believe. Like everything else, you have weapons and armor to craft and upgrade, each with slightly higher numbers than the previous so you wear it or if it is lower you sell it.

The entire selling, crafting, and buying system isn’t anything to write home about. In fact, it’s a problem with the UI and UX being as barebones as possible. That in itself is fine, but it leaves me without any information on what I should or shouldn’t send into the “give me money I’m never going to actually use” pile or “I’m going to ard this” pile. I just didn’t bother with trying to figure out any of that and soldiered on with the basic weapons and armor the story is trying to give you with minor mods.

To return to the story with a bit less moaning about the narrator summarizing the mumblings of Muffin the irradiated Mule and Sooty, it is a kind of fine attempt at environmentalism, I think. See, this is the problem with that too. The world is telling a story of pollution and destroyed towns or cities similar to ours with cars and trucks destroyed on highways. However, then you are told to save or destroy the tree of life. Oh yeah, it’s an RPG which means of course there is a moral choice system with as many shades of grey as the local vicar’s underwear drawer.

Everything you do is pointed toward the tree of life, with the bits leading up to it fed through the process of your first proper decision (outside creating a character). Do you ally with the all virtuous saints who’ll moan when you kill after ordering you to kill, or do you ally with villains so Black and White they might as well be stripy donkeys? I might dance on the line of darkness, but there is no point in allying with the villains as soon enough you’ll be putting them within your ranks anyway.

This is where the character creation and RPG bit became an annoyance. You’re asked to do the usual thing of creating your mix of Roland Rat, Basil Brush, Top Cat, and Rupert Bear. All with the assumption you know what you are about to get into: Do you go for a charisma heavy-build? Probably not, as charisma is about as useful as a tea cozy is at protecting you from the rain. Your only opportunities to use speech checks are when someone says, “I have a secret but I’m not telling!” and when you take on the tribe bosses to get out of possibly the most interesting bits.

Which once again circles us back to the combat, which I’ve already said doesn’t have weight. It is mild flailing about hoping the things being hit aren’t you, and hoping the damage you are doing is enough that this can all end soon so you can do something more interesting, like watching paint dry. Nothing feels all that satisfying and worthwhile.

In summary, the ideas are all there for your typical open-world adventure, but no one thought to stop the team and make them create a satisfying core to build the game around. As I’ve said, one man narrating everything in a summarized fashion in what is a sluggish and childish bore isn’t going to be too exciting. Combat is like a deflated squeaky hammer, and no one wants to blow it up. Each quest revolves around one of about two things: Go over there and pick up a thing, or go over there and beat someone up. Though it can be a pretty game, if you’re on an older console (the base PS4 or Xbox One) you’ll probably find performance a bit of a struggle.

If you point the camera away from the floor, you’ll see how pretty the game is as you look into the distance. Though, as you are three feet tall and spend quite a bit of time on the floor, you’ll most likely see the long grass; which I assume is the problem with the performance. The grass feels a bit haphazardly placed in a world that’s quite big (so understandable), along with the basic floor texture feeling a bit flat. Ultimately, I think that size and the game’s scale is its biggest downfall; with only about 18 employees at Experiment 101, the massive open world and middling RPG length might have been too ambitious.

An Xbox One copy of Biomutant was provided by THQ Nordic for the purposes of this review.

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Biomutant

$59.99

6

Score

6.0/10

Pros

• Simple photomode.
• Nice looking distance.
• You pee acid on fast travel points.

Cons

• Weightless combat.
• If I dig a grave will the narrator talk himself into it?
• No satisfying core.