I abhor sports; they are awful things full of exercise and other people. That’s combining two things I strongly dislike and making them both worse. I quite simply don’t understand the world’s desire to shove it in faces. The NFL is padded rugby, proper football that is played with feet being about falling down. Hockey is dull until the fights break out. Cricket is the world’s most tedious game, and Tennis is professional grunting with an extra bit. You would have to do something very radical to get me into any kind of sport, and something even more extreme to keep my attention.

In 2008, there was a game no one played that very few liked called Supersonic Acrobatic Rocket-Powered Battle-cars. Other than being a bit “meh” and having a title longer than your forearm, there is nothing remarkable about it, other than the sequel. Rocket League is a sports game with rocket-powered cars that battle in a game for… I was about to say football, but then I’d be as bad as the Americans. It is a game of ball nudging at great speed with precision and finesse, and then you boost right through a man and blow him up.

Rocket League is a game of football (shut up, it is!) that I can really get behind. It is almost like Top Gear‘s car football, just so much more exciting. However, it did recently go into a long-term free-to-play release, and if there is one thing I dislike as much, if not more than sport, it is free-to-play multiplayer nonsense that just gets in the way of enjoying a game. I said it yesterday in the Rawmen preview, I don’t like multiplayer, so you need to have a great concept to get me into your game with other people. Rocket League is one of those concepts, almost.

I’ve previously played Rocket League with others, and while it is fun, I’d suggest playing with friends. Communication is key; otherwise, you start shouting, “Curse you F@ppBoy716938, curse you to hell!” at three in the morning. Maybe it is just because I already hate people, but I don’t need someone getting in my way when I’ve been setting up for a shot, just for it to be stolen away at the last second by Johnny the gamer. Plus, if you are shouting at friends, you know who you are shouting at, and it makes it more fun.

You can play the game entirely on your own with bots, and I suggest doing so. If not for my own deluded misanthropic hatred of humanity, it is a good test for your skill level. However, you can be the very best, like no one ever was, at Rocket League and you’ll still miss the ball about six times out of ten. If anything, the ball is just an object that has no real say over proceedings, it is the chaotic nature of you, the AI, and other players that are the acting force on it. One simple nudge in one direction can drop it in the goal a second into the game, and a slightly different touch can see it ping off in several directions with eight cars flying in tow.

I’ve not even gotten to the Brazillian rules: Off the wall is fine, you can drive on the ceiling, and it doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you are enjoying it. Long term FIFA players might remember EA and EA Sports BIG’s FIFA Street 2, a fabulous game of five-a-side football where you can bounce the ball off the walls. Well, this is like that, but you are doing four-a-side, the ball is huge, you are stuck in an enclosed cage, and did I mention the cars? If you haven’t just dropped everything to boot up your PlayStation, Xbox, Epic launcher, or Steam, I don’t understand you fundamentally as a human being. Why aren’t you pulled into that?

However, let’s address the elephant in the room. Free-to-play means the game is going to be funded by something else, and the game has a history of loot-box-like features that were later removed. Yes, there is a strong customization aspect to the game, now with a live-service season called “Rocket pass,” which I’m avoiding like the plague. This is one of my issues, and it always has been an issue with Rocket League, but as long as it stays entirely cosmetic I can’t complain too much. That said, $49.99 is still quite egregious. Only made worse by the “in-app purchases” section only saying “Free to $49.99” because there is only one free thing and it is “essential in-game items for every serious Xbox Fan.”

While we’re on things that can get right in the bin from the get-go, the re-designed menu deserves quite a bit of my ire. Previously, the single-player option was right on the main menu, making it quick and simple to hop into a game. Of course, it is now buried under other options. All with the aim of suggestively forcing you into the online mode. Now you have to select “custom games” followed by either exhibition or season for single-player. It’s not that bad, until you have Xbox telling you, “you need to give us money to keep playing (if you want to go online),” which I don’t want to do. I like playing with a ball or two on my own, even a good game can’t change that.

If I wanted to play online, I’d be playing on PC like a sensible human being that avoids extra subscription fees. That ultimately is the downfall of the free-to-play release of Rocket League on Xbox One, being told that I’m not in with the gang for playing online every so often. This could also be the case with PS4 and Nintendo Switch. If you are concerned about that either for personal play or for that of a child, I’d suggest setting up strong parental controls, stopping online interaction and purchase of the Rocket Pass things. So yes, even in a game I enjoy and find great pleasure in, I’m still a self-isolating curmudgeon.

Personally, I love Rocket League. I think it is easily one of the best games of the last decade and by far one of the best sports games in recent memory. Alone or with friends, you are bound to find some fun with it.

Phenixx Gaming is everywhere you are. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and Instagram.

Also, if you’d like to join the Phenixx Gaming team, check out our recruitment article for details on working with us.

Phenixx Gaming is proud to be a Humble Partner! Purchases made through our affiliate links support our writers and charity!

Rocket League

Free-to-Play

7

Score

7.0/10

Pros

• Fun rocket-powered car football.
• Comprehensive training and difficulties
• A fun sports game.

Cons

• Mildly egregious online and microtransactions.