I’ve said it several times this week, this is why you don’t switch branding without much pomp, circumstance, or warning. Yes, I’m having trouble remembering Prime Gaming over Twitch Prime, mostly because one of them is two items linked with one company, the other is one word associated with a company and general word we use outside of that company. Now, thank you for coming to my TED Talk on company branding, I’ll be here next week to talk about: Mobile Legends: Bang Bang, Big Farm: Mobile Harvest, Teamfight Tactics, Epic Seven, League of Legends, whatever replaces Dead in Vinland, and company branding, again.

I’ll never understand the MOBA craze. How League of Legends reported 8-million players a day last September, I don’t know. Nonetheless, if you’re one of the people I don’t understand, Why? Also, you’ll be pleased to know you can grab up to six mystery skin shards with your Prime membership, with three available right now. As Prime notes to those asking, you can choose to keep the shard or “re-roll” three of them for a random skin permanent. The problem is they don’t note what your chances are.

On the other end of the spectrum of gaming, FIFA 20 is still a thing, for the time being anyway. The seventh and final Prime Gaming pack for those playing FIFA Ultimate Team is available, it is just the same tripe as the last several packs. You get the pick of one player (out of four) with an OVR of 83 or better with 5 gold rare players. As we get closer to October, we get closer to FIFA 21‘s release and awful cover art by a graphic designer that developed a drinking problem during lockdown. FIFA 20 will be slowing down in the coming weeks. The final pack is available until September 11th.

Speaking of microtransaction-laden hellscapes I’d rather avoid by becoming a monk and protesting, next we have King Of Avalon. It seems the final “loot drop” has come and it is fitting that it is a bunny with a crossbow. I’d be looking to Watership Down someone after all this too. You can pick up 200 gold, 100 5-minute training speedups, 20 60-minute training speedups, 10 wishing gems, 5 March speed 1, 5 8-hour peace shields, 5 12-hour march capacity boosts, 5 12-hour piece attacks, 5 12-hour solid defense(s?), and one 7-day Bunny March. Fingers crossed that I don’t have to talk about this tripe from September 1st onward.

I’ve only just found out that Prime Gaming’s bundles for Black Desert Mobile are only available in the US, not Europe, and as it turns out quite a bit of Asia. I’ve no idea why, maybe it involves some standards on loot box guff being peddled? Nonetheless, you can pick up the 28-day plus chest which features: Combat plus, Black Spirit plus, Life plus, and Camp Manager: Irene, all lasting 28-days. This is only available until the 1st of September, when it will be replaced by the Premium Abyssal Alchemy Stone chest.

I might not understand MOBAs but I don’t understand MMOs either. However, I somewhat understand the need to gut Destiny 2 of clutter, as it was revealed just how much is to be removed. It still won’t get me into the game. Though for those that are already into it, you can get the Standoff Exotic bundle, including: The Standoff emote, Neon Helix ghost shell, Vespulaser Sparrow, and the Egbe-01X legendary ship. This offer is available until September 23rd.

Someone must be listening to me over at Wargaming. It turns out World of Warships can have Prime Gaming guff that isn’t an overly-sexualized fictional “fake gamer girl,” or be connected to something that sexualizes anthropomorphized battleships. Instead, the company can offer (through Prime Gaming) something that you only get for 3-days, oh that’s generous. Yes, if you’re a Prime member and are playing World of Warships, you can play a new level 8 (or higher) level to get 3-days rental of a tier 8 Battleship Massachusetts and some containers (loot boxes). This offer is available until September 17th.

Going on with Wargaming, World of Tanks is still offering that king tiger tank that was captured about a year ago. Don’t worry, that’s not all you get, you can also get Care Package Dime, a box of useless MMO guff: “A selection of great goodies to choose from;” rental of tanks, blueprints, and XP; 3-days of World of Tanks premium, a ‘unique’ party popper 2D style for your tank, an exclusive medal (the other Prime members will probably have), five times XP for 20 missions when victorious, a new set of battle missions, and a universal training manual. I’m not joking about the quote either, that’s all I’m given from Amazon/Prime. This offer ends September 10th.

Shall I complain about mobile games and Amazon providing no details? I think I shall, as Yahtzee with Buddies proves to be the exemplar of that. This week you can pick up the “Tournament mode master giveaway,” which makes about as much sense to me as “rusty trombone” does to a 90-year-old nun. I’ve even done research this week, and all I found was people complaining about Amazon’s involvement in the game; Well, that and spam. If you’re already playing, you’ll understand and want it, so you can pick it out before September 3rd.

Finally, Apex Legends has updated and is offering a new skin for a different character for the next month or so. Until September 24th, you can pick up Rampart’s Custom Finish skin for Season 6 of Apex Legends and stand out from the background with muted colors. There is nothing grand to be said about this one, it is just a skin and there isn’t much to be said about that either.

Now on to this week’s game, and it is not that 1611 play by William Shakespeare. I’d be less excited about useless pontification of one’s own ability to magic, and something, something, criticism of the possible themes of colonization. Tempest: Pirate Action RPG (as it is listed on Steam) is an open-world pirate RPG that looks like it was released in 2006 and sticks to reality about as well as a politician being asked a simple question. I honestly have no idea about this one for once. One minute I think it looks like it could be fun and the next I’m thinking it is as stable as a house of cards on a 747 flying through a storm.

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