My face was a blank page last week, it was every one of those gifs you find of Drew Scanlon blinking or Bernard Black doing his taxes. I was both irate and ready to knock a hole through someone’s head like I was Kazuma Kiryu. If you haven’t noticed, for about a year and a half, I’ve done Twitch Prime articles every month and more recently every week. Now, to fall in line with Amazon Music, Amazon adult accessories, Amazon workers right’s violations, and AmazonFresh, Twitch Prime has been switched over to “Prime Gaming.” So, if you were to write a lot about one topic, and put it under one tag to file everything correctly, your organization is now messed up, thanks Amazon.

Nonetheless, the world is a cruel place, and while I don’t believe I’m going to enjoy talking about it more just because the name change; I’ll still talk about what you can get with it. Speaking of which, from Monday the 17th to Friday the 21st, the following will change or disappear from Prime Gaming: League of Legends, FIFA 20, King of Avalon, Black Desert Mobile, Destiny 2, World of Warships, World of Tanks, Yahtzee with Buddies, DOOM Eternal, Apex Legends, and free game NeuroVoider. I can’t wait to be bored to death by all of what will be replacing it.

Though let us begin with something horrible for mobile. We’ll start with possibly the worst logo, where a seven is shown numerically then repeated with the word, Epic Seven is probably about teenagers killing god and feeling sad about it, I don’t know or care. Though with Prime and the free-to-play game you can pick up nine 3-star penguins and 500,000 gold; I understand the words I have said, but I don’t understand what they mean in that context. The penguins and gold are available until the 26th of August.

Finally, fake Farmville, how I’ve missed you. Though for some reason you’ve confused me with Amazon and Twitch’s strange way of formatting things. The preview available to everyone states “Big Farm: Mobile Harvest: Fuel: 1 day (x25),” which is far too many colons, but the details page with everything available for Big Farm: Mobile Harvest just states “Fuel 1 day.” Something tells me this whole Prime Gaming isn’t an improvement, in fact, it has made things more confusing. Anyway, you can get the fuel that lasts 1-day or possibly twenty-five single days until August the 24th.

Speaking of a horrible formatting mess that could get an editor fired if anyone cared at Twitch or Amazon, next we have Mobile Legends: Bang Bang. Are we doing the same drivel as we’ve seen for the last three “loot drops?” Yes, we are. That means once again you will be getting an Amazon Prime chest with hero and skin trial cards. All is good there, until the details page provides me with information for the 12th drop (this week’s is the 11th). I can also see a date for the 13th drop as well. Nevertheless, the 11th drop ends on the 25th of August when you’ll be able to get Rynn’s skin permanently, you cannibal.

With the updated name came another two things I couldn’t care about in a month of Sundays. As Ubisoft tries desperately to clamor for attention that doesn’t include their rampant abuse allegations, they are trying to get a grey battle royale off the ground known as Hyper Scape, which I keep calling “Hyperspace”. Like most of the battle royales, there is a season of content and this is the second partnership with Amazon to give Prime subscribers battle pass rewards. Aforementioned rewards include: 1 emote, 1 champion, 1 holo tag, and 9 weapon designs. This offer ends October 6th.

Speaking of something I can’t understand any popularity for, we have “Roblox,” the Mega Bloks equivalent of Mojang’s Minecraft. I’d rather sleep on a bed of mismatched and scattered LEGO bricks that will find their up the crack of my rotund backside than ever play Roblox. Walking across a darkened room with hundreds of upturned UK plugs would be a better experience. If that sounds enjoyable to you and you have a Prime subscription, you can get a “Banandolier,” which is available until the 11th of September.

Lastly, the game for this week is one I’ve played previously. The downside of that is the story of being given a key for the PS4 release many years ago, attempting to play the game, and finding it snap like a twig under the immense weight of my rotund behind. The Inner World is a 2D point-and-click adventure about an idiot savant called Robert. Robert lives in a world ruled by a theologian called Conroy that tries to scare the proletariat with fear of the world outside their small community. Robert falls down the garbage chute, and thus adventures ensue.

Assuming the PC port is less buggy, it really is a fun little adventure, with the sequel The Last Wind Monk improving in a dark and mental world with a tale about fascism. The Inner World is available until the 11th of September. It is one I’ll actually recommend with experience behind playing it, unlike other games I’ve covered in these many weeks.

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