Well, we made it through the first month of 2020. There are just another three million more months and twelve quintillion days left before we can leave behind fighting with family at Thanksgiving and don’t have to hear about the Coronavirus as a conspiracy. Though in all seriousness, it has been one hell of a month for all of us, with Rockstar and UKIE responding to more claims by TaxWatch, the NHS calling out gambling, and a RuneScape player trying to misuse the US constitution. With that, let’s talk about Twitch Prime, RuneScape, Rockstar, and EA’s Madden NFL 20 Ultimate Team packs.

Yes, we still have Rockstar’s Grand Theft Auto Online and Red Dead Online “loot,” the same content we’ve had for months now with phrase “offer ends soon.” You can still get a quarter of a million in-game dollars in GTA Online as well as a 15% bonus on all purchases of Shark Cash Cards and gold bars. This is just some of what is offered, along with some ammo, property, and a collector’s bag in RDO. For those playing GTA Online with a Twitch Prime subscription, you will get free access to Pixel Pete’s Arcade. However, keep in mind that while Rockstar might suggest you give them some money, they are going to ask for more from UK Taxpayers.

I thought this one would be ending very soon, but I guess not. If you are a Rocket League player, there is still quite some time to pick up the four months worth of skins, goal celebrations, and whatnot available to pick up. As it takes four months to unlock all four Prime Packs by my understanding, the latest you will be eligible to receive all four packs is the 27th of February (120 days before the deal ends).

The next bit of content is ending a bit sooner than one might expect; in fact, it ends on the 5th of February, tomorrow. Minion Masters, the alternate title for Despicable Me 2, 3, and the soon to be 4th, has for a couple of months now offered the Accursed Army DLC pack for the free-to-play game. As previously mentioned, you have about 24 hours from the time this article is published to get a hold of this DLC. There’s currently no word on whether Twitch Prime with BetaDwarf will do another deal for the game.

We’ll continue with the soon-to-be-gone content as the League of Legends-themed “auto-battler” Teamfight Tactics is switching over to its third and final month with Twitch Prime, at least as far as we can tell. Much like the last two months, the “loot” you’ll be getting is a Mystery Little Legends Egg and a mystery emote; which just means you have a random chance of something great or something crap you don’t want. This past month’s one will end on the 6th of February when it will switch out for another chance to get something equally disappointing.

Staying on League of Legends and disappointment as to “mystery” content, the game is offering a skin for Twitch Prime members. The “Mystery Skin Permanent” will provide the player a random skin token to redeem in the game. This month’s offer ends on the 6th of February, though you will get one last chance from there on to get another random skin from the game.

With all this talk of skins, you’d think I was Hannibal Lecter or Francisco Goya’s Saturn, let’s go for yet another offer that’s ending quite soon. Both CONTRA: ROGUE CORPS characters Ms. Harakiri and Kaiser have their robot assassin and retro purple skins respectively available. Yes, I understand very little of what I just said, but this PS4 exclusive offer for Twitch Prime members is only available until the 6th of February.

Continuing with superficial cosmetics for Path of Exile. Players of Path of Exile with a Twitch Prime subscription can redeem the “purple bundle,” with a purple hood and purple eyes for the player’s character. I don’t understand it either, but players will have until the 6th of February to claim the purple bundle. Once that bundle is over with, the “elemental bundle” will be available through the rest of February.

With only a hand full of cosmetic content left, we’ll cover the last of the popular free-to-play games. Apex Legends players can pick up the “Geometric Anomaly” skin for Caustic within the game. Before I embarrass myself any further I’ll just point out that for the foreseeable future, ten skins will come for Apex Legends, and that Dari is the expert on this one. The Geometric Anomaly Caustic skin is only available until the 7th of February.

From one thing I can’t understand because of the color grey and flashes of color, to another game that’s blander than the wallpaper in your gran’s house; Fallout 76 players can redeem the raider branding iron weapon skin for the in-game fire axe. You can also pick up the Nuka-Cherry Armor Paints, and the yoga pose known as “Tree” to use in the photomode. Yes, the Fallout 76: Prime Winter bundle sounds about as fun and thrilling as Fallout 76 is, better act before April 9th when spring will have kicked in almost a whole month before.

Magic The Gathering: Arena players can pick up the Liliana’s Legion deck with Twitch Prime. The deck comprises of 60 cards, which includes 5 rare and 1 mythic rare card within the deck. Players will want to be quick as this offer ends on the 10th of February.

Mobile Legends: Bang Bang, is next on the list, and is a game I don’t know much about after three months of writing about it. The final drop includes: a skin coupon of 100 diamonds, 1 MLBB-Amazon chest (with 15.022% chance of getting a skin), 1 hero trial card of alpha with 1 skin trial card for Alpha’s Sea gladiator skin (both for 7 days), and 1 hero trial card for Minotaur and 1 skin trial card for Minotaur’s Orbiter skin (both for 7 days). I assume the only reason it is .022% is to make it sound slightly greater than it is, it is still “random” chance. This drop will end on the 12th of February, so you might want to be quick at grabbing whatever it is I’ve said but don’t understand.

To quote the prophet Edwin Starr, “War, huh, yeah what is it good for?” I’ve heard it was absolutely nothing, but if you ask video games it is fodder for their gunplay. Warframe players can pick up the Ember Warframe pack and Power booster pack, which includes the Ember Warframe, a Warframe slot, and the Filigree prime decoration, along with a 7-day credit booster and affinity booster. The latter two are only available until the 18th of February.

If that’s not enough to pull you into playing the free-to-play third-person shooter, then you might want to pick up the Warframe starter pack. This includes the Karak weapon blueprint, dual Skana weapon blueprint, 100,000 in-game credits, an energy Siphon mod, a Fury mod, the Lotus Noggle Glyph, and a Twitch color picker. I won’t go into the details of them all, but there are also starter packs available for World of Tanks, World of Warships, and TERA.

World of Tanks player can once again get the King Tiger tank pack and care package Mike. No, it doesn’t include music, Bojack Horseman, and Rainbow Six Siege articles, it has nothing to do with our own Mike. The Tiger tank, as I said in the Epic Games Store article this week, “It does what it says on the tin.” Care package Mike includes, a commander by the name Henri Vainqueur, 14-day rental respectively of the ELC EVEN 90 and Lorraine 40t, a discount on premium vehicles, an emblem with the Tricolore, a medal with the French national motto, 15 strong coffees, 5 times XP when victorious in 10 mission, and a day of Premium play.

While we’re on it, Rainbow Six Siege players can pick up the “Twitch Operator skin.” Yes, we’re back to these bloody things, because skins are something developers can sell and not have to produce anything physical for it, while making just as much as if they were. The camo is about as useful as the (Warning: Strong language contained in the link) Space Force camo recently revealed, as it is luminescent green on both you and your gun, with a small green charm. This offer ends on the 24th of February.

Raid: Shadow Legends, the cross between Marvel’s mythical realms and Borderlands‘ color with no meaning is still going strong, somehow. Within the month you’ll be able to pick up drops 4, 5, and 6, the first of which includes 3 epic skill tomes and 40 greater potions. You’ll want to be quick with that one as it ends on the 10th of February when it will be replaced with the 5th drop, which includes the epic champion, Valla. Valla will disappear on the 24th to be replaced by 5 ancient shards and “4 rank 4 chickens.” In other relevant news, an old man yells at Cloud.

I’ve mentioned it by name so I’ll get it out the way. Borderlands 3 players can claim the Caster blaster weapon trinket, the Steam Dech Echo skin, and a total of 6 golden keys. According to Twitch, the offer ends on March the 16th; however, according to another part of Twitch, you must redeem all offers by May the 14th.

Dauntless players will want to pick up the Heartbreaker weapon skin pack soon. As usual with Dauntless, along with the skin (or other in-game items), you will get a supply pack for your troubles.

I’ll continue with something I don’t understand, which is all these articles seem to be. Ring of Elysium sadly isn’t an excellent RPG by the way of a book, but is instead a battle royale I’ve never heard of. If I have heard of it, then that’s how bad the impression was on me. With the Prime exclusive skins for Ring of Elysium, you’ll get “Sakura character, a portrait, and accessory.” Oh, how informative that information is. I assume it is a cross between a battle royale and a hero shooter, and I’ve already fallen asleep. This offer ends on the 20th of February.

Quick, wake me up with something exciting! Well, it was worth a shot I guess. The Destiny 2 SUROS Regine exotic bundle is next. The bundle includes the SUROS Regine auto rifle, coup de main weapon ornament, skyline flipside ghost, and “unsecured/OUTCRY” skip. The offer ends on the 26th of February, though as I’m worried to say there will be five more of these. If you understood any of that, you can go to the usual address for the Borg at www.WhereHasMyHumanBrainGone.com or if you’d like to explain the whole thing you can join us by applying to write with us by emailing Alexx at AlexxAplin@phenixxgaming.com.

Sports, they are things people like. People also like money, but gambling gets in the way of that and EA wouldn’t let you pay money to randomly get something. Madden NFL 20 players can still get last month’s playoffs Ultimate Team pack, which contains an 83+ OVR playoffs player, a 73+ OVR gold or better player, and three 62+ OVR silver player or better. For this month’s Super Bowl pack you’ll get an 82+ OVR elite Super Bowl player with an increased chance at high-end Super Bowl Players, this comes along with three silver or better players. EA would like to stress it’s not gambling, but you can claim the offer until the 2nd of March.

We’re at the end of the weird mobile version of Worms that looks 100% less fun, heaven must have sent someone to look over me. The 5th drop for Fortress M players includes 300 missile dot shards, 250 gems, and 10,000 “crings,” whatever they are. That drop ends on the 5th of February, so be quick with that one if you want to pick it up. On the 5th of February, the 6th and final drop includes 300 golden super tank shards, 250 gems, and 10,000 more “crings.” This final offer ends on the 19th of February.

While I shout at Cloud a bit more, PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds is still a thing. Who knew after Fortnite blew everything else out the sky. The sky is important as you will be able to pick up the Pilot Crate for the game which includes some shades, a grey shirt, grey slacks, a bomber jacket, a pilot’s cap, a purple striped tie, some loafers, and a purple parachute. As one of two drops, the pilot crate will be gone on the 27th of February. From then on you’ll be able to pick up the Gunslinger outfit with a very nice red tux jacket.

The final collection of the loot we know about at the time of writing and editing is the final three drops for Black Desert Mobile. Players of the mobile MMORPG can currently pick up 20 of the “good black stone (weapon/armor),” or whatever they are. That offer will end on the 12th of February, when it will be replaced by a 7-day appearance coupon. Once again I’ve made no sense of what I’ve just said. On the 26th of February, when the coupon deal is over, you’ll be able to pick up the final drop of 100 boss stamps. I’ll be honest, if the 100 boss stamp deal is just a very hard version of Queen Liz in Dark Souls, I’m in!

That was the final drop for in-game cosmetics that we know of, but we do have the RuneScape deals to talk about. Most of the time these are swapped out but we don’t get an advanced warning that there will be another one, this is another case of that. We know the RuneScape Umbra pack offering new cosmetics and all previous Umbra content ends hours after this article is published, but we don’t know if there will be another. If there is, this is why there wasn’t a paragraph specifically about that.

I think it is about time we get to the games:

Narcos: Rise of the Cartels is a turn-based tactics game based on the Netflix series by the same name. It is also a turn-based tactics game I’ve been looking forward to for a while now as it is the only TV or movie tie-in released last year that wasn’t a mobile phone game. Looking to be X-Com but with slightly melted wax figures of characters from the show, it is that slightly low quality fun that the PS2 was famed for having.

American Fugitive is a game about a man framed for the murder of his dad and escapes imprisonment to cause mayhem. In a “classic sandbox-style,” it is much like the first two Grand Theft Auto games but in 3D. This is the one that if I find the time to play, however, I’ll play this one for a bit to see how it holds up against those “classic sandbox” games it is trying to emulate.

Steredenn, this is one that Alexx said might be worth playing. It is a 2D sidescrolling bullet hell rogue-like/lite that passed me by in 2015 when it first released.

Another game that passed me by in 2015 was the monochromatic noir horror, White Night. No, that’s not just the name of a young man on Twitter defending any person of color or woman he doesn’t know, nor the PS3 game White Knight Chronicles. This is meant to be a small puzzle game about where you search through a creepy mansion. Quite interesting, indeed.

You know what we’re missing in this mix of games, an RPG. Desert Child is either a very weird sweet treat that includes chocolate or my dyslexia is acting up again and it is the 2018 RPG by that same name. From the outset the description is everything I want out of an RPG: Sci-fi, racing, the world is about to be destroyed, and there’s racing. I think I’ll be playing that one too.

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