Cat Quest is free on Epic

I swear, if the news is any lighter next week, I’ll start making stuff up just to make the weeks seem more interesting. Wednesday, Blizzard addressed a World of Warcraft DDoS attack that was about as noticeable as fingerprints on the Mars Rover with the naked eye. Thursday, EA got a mouthful of abuse after revealing details about F1 25, and Within the Cosmos privately received a mouthful of abuse from me for having its release date revealed a week before launch. Stop doing that (devs/publishers) without telling the press.

Moving on to the Epic Games Store and it is Spring Sale time, which unlike Steam’s Spring Sale is during spring. So you know what that means: mystery games weekly that you probably already own or don’t care about, with the first being Cat Quest, again. Released in 2017, Cat Quest is a hack-and-slash, looting kind of RPG rather than one with a great amount of depth or interesting mechanics, right down to the save the princess (or sister) plot. It is also topped off with cat puns so good you’ll start cosplaying as Mary Bale.

From jokes on current events as topical as Japan being bombed, to the literal word for cat in Japan. Neko Ghost, Jump! is a 2D-3D perspective switching time attack puzzle platformer that looks about as exciting as cleaning out a cat tray with your own tongue. It is currently in early access on Steam, with the answer to “How long will it take to be out of early access?” being: “When it’s done, hopefully soon!” I’ve honestly read notes from Kurt Cobain that were more cheerful and optimistic, but that might just be how I’m reading it.

Possibly the reason for my “mood” this week is that I was right about the mobile Epic Games Store app changing to weekly giveaways. From Out There: Ω Edition, which is a Rogue-like/lite FTL but less interesting, to Evoland II, a non-cat-based RPG that was released in 2015 for PC and has more art styles than Homer Simpson has hair. The Epic Games Store’s mobile app is available globally on Android and only in the EU for iPhone and iPad users, but not through the Google Play or App Store.

All this week you can pick up Cat Quest and Neko Ghost, Jump! on the Epic Games Store until the morning of Thursday, the 3rd of April. This reminds me, the freebies go back to normal time-zone nonsense next week, so about 4 PM BST(/GMT) for those in the UK. Do I need to repeat myself about the whole Spring Sale thing, thus mystery games? If you’re looking for sale suggestions: Sunday Gold, Citizen Sleeper 2, Cyberpunk 2077, Dragon Age: The Veilguard, The Witcher 3, Football Manager 2024, or Satisfactory.