Jurassic World Evolution 2 is free on Epic

Monday, Ted Lasso is getting a 4th season, which some of us are excited and trepidatious about, Oblivion is supposedly getting a remake, for some reason, and Final Fantasy XIV has a new patch coming. Tuesday, Yooka-Replaylee has a gameplay trailer for the upcoming re-release, and Ubisoft had to issue an “anti-harassment” program ahead of the release of Assassin’s Creed Shadows. Also, shameless plug to go read that review here. Wednesday, Embroideryvania wants to pull a new thread for the Metroidvania genre, and LEGO (say “Legos” and I’ll beat you with a heavy rope) has revealed a Pokémon set for 2026.

Moving on to the Epic Games Store, we didn’t have any surprises with a second offering, so it’s just Jurassic World Evolution 2. The 2021 evolution of the management simulator, with a heavy portion based on pre-historic marine life such as Lionpleurodon, Tylosaurus, Mosasaurus, and more in the base game. If you want to shell out a few bucks, you can get the Park Manager’s Collection pack, which gives you Megalodon, because life isn’t hard enough I guess. Do I need to spell out that Jurassic World Evolution 2 is free and that you can play it whenever you want?

It isn’t a fantastic business simulator, as the only danger is some kid falling in the velociraptor enclosure, and realistically that’s why you get a Jurassic Park-themed game. That’s what I never understood: You want to make money to get the bigger dinosaurs, but you also want to feed the little ones, and parents are already bringing human nuggets. I don’t want to say that Jurassic World Evolution 2 is a bad management game, but it has conflicting ideas with the psychopaths that want to genetically modify guinea pigs into scaley-bitey monsters with a love for child flesh. Also known as BBC presenters from the 70s.

A change has also come to the Epic Games Store’s mobile app, available globally on Android and only in the EU for iPhone and iPad users. The change is that the mobile offerings will now be weekly, making me want to spread myself on the pavement like jam. Nonetheless, the offering for this week is Super Meat Boy Forever, which will be difficult to play on a small mobile screen with your thumbs in the way. The other offering is a side-scrolling platformer/RPG called Eastern Exorcist. How about a game that fits mobile?

All this week you can pick up Jurassic World Evolution 2 on the Epic Games Store until the 27th of March. Moving on to next week, I want to bash my face into a brick wall because it is another mystery week. Not only that, but we also have a mystery double bill. So what’s available next week? Heaven only knows. I hate having to scramble last minute to say something nice about Bloons TD 6, again.