For one last time this year: Monday, Call of Elyndra now has a demo out now. Tuesday, everyone’s favorite Skywalker did a lore video for Monster Hunter Wilds, there is a Death on the Nile game from Microids on the way, and S4U: Citypunk 2011 reminds me 2011 was far too long ago to not get depressed. Wednesday, BiM has expanded into the stars as Supermarket Simulator-like Alien Market Simulator is coming to early access next year, and Mike gave details on the Steam Winter Sale. The Penny Blood prequel is now in 1.0, and the first Indie Game Awards released a hype teaser.

Moving on to the last Epic Games Store article of the year, and it is probably something completely different by the time you’ve actually clicked on this article. At the time of writing and publishing, the free offering is for poncle’s 2022 title, Vampire Survivors. A professional suck-off simulator, the Rogue-lite that restarted this whole Bullet Heaven thing is like a thin white line on a club’s bathroom sink to a lot of people.

There is something wrong with me, as for the life of me, I can’t get too interested in the Bullet Hell/Bullet Heaven genre. I’ll say it here because no one is reading this, you’re all sucking on Alucard’s cousin and drinking the hot chocolate from your work’s holiday hamper. The Bullet Hell/Heaven genre doesn’t capture me because you either don’t feel overwhelmed at all or you’re too overwhelmed, and when you are either of those, I don’t feel like I as the player can do anything about that. The genre is what I personally have an issue with, not poncle’s Vampire Survivors.

What’s worse is, I’m also not a fan of twin-stick shooters. Thankfully Vampire Survivors does away with that idea, auto-firing (on a timer) your offensive capabilities on its own, leaving you with one stick. Again, I’m left feeling as if I’m doing nothing in the gameplay at that point, which, to reiterate, is a personal gripe I have with a genre and not the game itself. Everyone that’s ever spoken to me about Vampire Survivors has said it is fantastic, a must-play, and how items combine in that Binding of Isaac-like way to create interesting runs. If only anyone could tell me something that actually expels my apathy.

For all of two hours after this article goes out, you can pick up Vampire Survivors on the Epic Games Store for free. After that, it is the second (or third) mystery game of the Epic Winter Sale. For the next couple of weeks (until the 2nd of January), there will be daily free offerings through Epic. So around 8 AM Pacific time, 11 AM Eastern, and 4PM UTC/GMT, you’ll find something new offered on Epic.

According to a known leaker on Reddit, MeguminShiro, the next offering after Vampire Survivors will be Little Leo Games’ 2023 title, Astrea: Six-Sided Oracles. A self-described, “DICE-deck-building Rogue-like” which uses dice instead of the thing Nintendo started out making in 1889, playing cards. It could be something else, but certainly not a bad option for 24 hours. We’ll find out more when the offers are available.

Phenixx Gaming is everywhere you are. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Also, if you’d like to join the Phenixx Gaming team, check out our recruitment article for details on working with us.

Phenixx Gaming is proud to be a Humble Partner! Purchases made through our affiliate links support our writers and charity!