LotR: Return to Moria is free on Epic

Monday, RE:Choice has been announced, anime RPG Fantasian Neo Dimensions is available (surprisingly not for a PS2), and Escape Simulator 2 has been announced. Tuesday, more is available for Prime Gaming in December thanks to the release of Secret Level (poor audio balance and all), Book Bound was announced, and Barbra Streisand wishes she didn’t have something this stupid named after her. Wednesday, Detective Dotson puts Bollywood on the case, this year’s Wholesome Snack was once again wonderful, and there is a Gal Guardians sequel. Thursday, TankHead is a tank Rogue-like that has you building the tank, and Neon Abyss 2 was announced.

On to the Epic Games Store, and it turns out the great oracle was right when he said, “One does not simply Waka Waka into Mordor.” If you expect me to give a detailed history and recounting of The Lord of the Rings: Return to Moria, you, sunshine are on to plums. Set in the fourth age of Middle Earth, the dwarves return to take their homeland of Moria after doing a favor for Santa and helping Leonard Nimoy’s favorite OnlyFans foot model who went on a journey to throw an engagement ring away. I might have fallen asleep during the audiobooks and woke up to Sex in the City.

The truth is, if you enjoy survival-crafting games and The Lord of the Rings as a series, you don’t need me to tell you about it. Realistically, I’m a fan of neither, at least to the point of enjoying Return to Moria. For what it is worth, since its release on Steam and Xbox Series X|S back in August, the reception has been far better than its Epic Games Store and PlayStation release in 2023. What I need to remind myself (and others) of is that it is free for a week, it doesn’t hurt to claim it and play it some other time if you’ve got the itch to.

All this week you can pick up The Lord of the Rings: Return to Moria (and the “Yule-tide” DLC) free on the Epic Games Store until the 19th of December. With that, I believe we’re done for the year. I’ll be back next week to tell you that there are games available every day for about a week or two until the 2nd of January when we’ll see the return of weekly offerings. After next week’s article, that’s it from me… I’m off to gently fondle a young man who brings me cocktails and doesn’t speak unless spoken to.