Monday, the list of games for SGDQ this year was revealed, and WhatsTheStatus returned to 2K24 after 2K did a U-turn visible from Twitter. Tuesday, the VR beta is now available for EA Sports WRC, Uncle Chop’s Rocket Shop got a release window, and Tekken 8 and Street Fighter 6 got some new stuff. Wednesday, Pine Hearts got a launch date, Life by You was given an early access release date, and I am once again an old fart. Thursday, Titan Quest II got a new dev diary on minibosses.

Moving on to the Epic Games Store, and my complete and utter annoyance it is also a surprise double bill, so we’ll start with the shortest one, Cat Quest II. Supposedly aimed at those who maybe didn’t enjoy the first foray by The Gentlebros while improving what was already there, Cat Quest II is generally liked though it does include repetitive dungeons you’ll scour through for several hours. A charming art style and improvements to combat are admired, though I’m still missing the spark to make me play.

I could say the same of the second game, Orcs Must Die! 3, a 3D tower defense title about baking cakes and handing out tents to the homeless. No, seriously, like Ronseal it “does exactly what it says on the tin,” you have hordes of Orcs which must die. Asking me to summarize this is like asking me to summarize the beige paint in a doctor’s office, if we move the furniture I can tell someone’s smoked themselves inside out but it is still beige at the end of the day. Only this time with a 2021 shine to it.

All this week, you can pick up both Orcs Must Die! 3 and Cat Quest II on the Epic Games Store until Thursday, the 9th of May. Moving on to what is next and it is yet another reminder that I am busier than the hookers of DC on Labor Day weekend, as I’ve yet to get around to Circus Electrique. A Steampunk circus-themed Darkest Dungeon-like with an extra sprinkle of management in there for your strongmen, clowns, acrobats, and other assorted weirdos.

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