Warning: The following article may contain language not suitable for all. Reader’s discretion is advised.

I was about to say “Two out of nine ain’t bad,” but the reality is that six and a half hours in, bad would be putting it lightly. I don’t have to go on a long tirade about who is on production this time out, as we’re joined by Maja Vrvilo again as Michael Chabon finally wrote an episode of his own at a pace greater than glacial. It is trope heavy and filled with non-linear extra fantastical world-building, which is based on the crap that bored you to death in the first half of the season.

Finally picked up to go on to synth paradise (The Institute?), the former Borg/de-Borg-ified Picard and pure synth Soji rejoin Rios, Raffi, and Agnes on the La Sirena. While Elnor catches a lift in a Borg Cube from a de-Borg-ified friend. Before all of that, we’ve got the sisterhood of “I’ll bash my face in with a rock after watching this montage of the harbingers of the apocalypse according to this pointy-eared bint” – I think that might have been too long of a title, I see why Ann Brashares went with something else. Another flashback, another example of “Look mum, look dad, I did all my homework myself.”

What I find deeply funny about these interpretations of an ancient civilization’s message to the future is that we as humans can’t interpret other humans 4600 years ago. It’s noted that the synth lifeforms, which supposedly wiped out the Aia peoples in the pre-credits scene 200,000-300,000 years before the 24th century not only created the Admonition but did so in a way that would stand the test of time not just physically but also linguistically. The lengths of probability on that one central part of this story is greater than your chances of winning the lottery by several factors.

I know, I’m poking holes in a sci-fi plot, but this is just common sense. Even with sci-fi levels of great knowledge, the chances of being able to understand fully what is said 200,000 years before you even existed is astronomically low. Though of course, this isn’t the only problem I have with Chabon’s writing. It is not the dialog so much but the plotting and how we’ve gotten here to this point.

In terms of the miles per hour metaphor we often use: Episodes 1-4 are under 10mph, “Stardust City Rag” floored it to 60 without understanding traction control and spun out, these last two were steady at 70-75, and here we’ve gone straight to 90 ahead of the finale. The pacing has been all over the place, the ability to tell a straightforward and cohesive story has been hampered, and what we get to next week (when I’m flipping tables) is ridiculous. Aside from my complaints about logical world-building, I don’t hate “Broken Pieces,” I think it simply tries to do too much emotionally too quickly to rush us to the end.

Annika coming back to fly the Borg Cube to take Elnor to Jean-Luc in the finale makes me think “Ok, sure, rush us there why don’t you.” Raffi talking to the EMHs, dragging the story of Rios’ past out, which doesn’t result in him being at least partly synthetic. Again, I’m left saying, “Why do we have this other bit of the story hanging on?” I’ll get to it in a second, but there is a very strong section of the story that is about Rios and his books, which are almost all philosophy. In Star Trek, what’s interesting about a guy with philosophy books?

Though speaking of the Borg Cube, I am going to headbutt whoever thought holo-controls were a great idea. “It looks modern,” it looks awful and cheap, especially when Jeri is moving her hands about as if solving a Rubik’s Cube, she’s fondling thin air and you can see it. It goes back to what I said in “Nepenthe,” How do you receive resistance from a holographic interface? I’ve played enough VR to know that this makes about as much sense as a chocolate teapot. Stop it, it is stupid.

Though to get back to something stupid, I think we need to talk about Rios’ eight books: Camus’ L’Étranger and L’Homee révolté, Kierkegaard’s Sygdommen til Døden and Begrebet Angest, Spanos’ A Casebook on Existentialism, Miguel de Unamuno’s Del sentimiento trágico de la vida, Hemingway’s Death in the Afternoon, and Vulcan philosopher Surak’s Surak and Existentialism. The theme here is existentialism and what it means to kill or revolt. I.E what you as an individual do of your own will, something a synthetic lifeform would be very interested in.

Yet, for some reason, in a story about the importance of synthetic life and protecting that, Rios is a human who just happened to cross paths with Soji’s people. Quite literally another copy of which she’s made from. Would it not be more effective if we got the “shock” that he was a synth too, someone people have already grown to like without the knowledge to highlight how stupid this fear is? It seemed like the logical step instead of: He was part of a Starfleet ship with orders to murder synths many years prior, otherwise he and the rest of the crew would be murdered instead.

It was another example of “Oh aren’t the Zhat Vash so scary?” Maybe if they were shown to do something impactful beyond obviously killing Hugh, I would care but I don’t. The Borg are scary because we’ve seen them do bad things. The Dominion was scary because we’ve seen their effect on characters we know and love already. The Kardashians are scary because they’re vapid, but the Cardassians are scary and interesting because, well, look at them. The Zhat Vash are about as scary as your Aunty Raffi’s conspiracy theories. Again, why do I care?

We’ve been slowly wandering, rushing, and then steadily walking, only to go at a full sprint of showing these slow-burn villains in this last hour of TV. I’ve said it before, but Rizzo and Evil Spock are about as threatening as a Saturday morning Cartoon villain, possibly even less so. Their threat is often implied, heavy-handedly, and when it is not it is to cynically kill off minor characters from 20 years before. I still don’t understand why Icheb’s eye was ripped out in such a gory manner, other than a writer (Chabon) thinking random acts of violence to play on emotion are effective.

I keep saying I don’t hate the episode yet I just spent almost 1000 words straight taking digs at what’s off. Probably the best portion of this late-game section of Picard is when Patrick is showing reverie for the writing, specifically the scene with Agnes in the sickbay. That’s the Jean-Luc I remember. As I’ve said before, we see him go from this frail old man trying to recapture glory into this hulking figure of authority, letting out some anger even though he’s more disappointed. As I’ve said, and much like the scene with Annika being scared of what reactivating the Borg does to her, it is the character I’m clinging to.

Santiago’s preoccupation as Rios talks about Captain Vandermeer, the disappointment of him being a killer, someone that does the opposite of Starfleet’s values, that’s strong but doesn’t quite land the same way. Jean-Luc giving people a bollocking and himself getting one again from Admiral Clancy, “Shut the fuck up!” the only other acceptable use of swearing in the series, not only works but shows the importance of these things. Being beaten around the head with senseless violence and conspiracy doesn’t work, but being shown rarely how deeply these characters are affected does.

When we’re given these morsels of good Star Trek in Picard, they look fantastic, but for the majority of the run so far, Picard has been standard conspiracy-based drama. This is what I keep getting back to, Star Trek can be better than this. Star Trek can tell an interesting story and we’ve seen Star Trek tell a slow-burn story full of villainy. Sadly, Paramount won’t produce the DS9 Blu-Rays to prove it. The problem with Picard in season one is that it spends so much time setting up a villain without trying to actively invest you into the story.

“Broken Pieces” has its moments of shining brilliance, even without the nostalgia of prior shows, but it is bogged down with a plot about as well constructed as a bathroom wall in a nightclub. While you might be able to reach Jenny at 867-5309, “Burt is a massive slag” might be taking away from the ambiance of the whole thing. The cynicism and cut-and-paste fashion of the plot doesn’t help it feel fresh, even with characters I care about.

With only two more hours of TV left in the season (Ok, 1:40-ish), the question I’m left asking myself from here is “What is the logical conclusion?” Soji just getting back to her people doesn’t satisfy on its own, we need the villains to be stopped somehow. What exactly is going to stop them, killing them so they can’t murder Soji? That’s not very Star Trek, so as a viewer, I’m left trying to work out the greater mystery of what exactly is going to be satisfying when we get to “Et in Arcadia Ego.”

Ultimately, as the penultimate episode leads into a two-part finale, I don’t know or (more importantly) care where we are going, I’m more concerned about how it is done. “Broken Pieces” feels like the solid seventh-eighth episode in a twelve-episode run, we’ve crossed from the mid-point of the story, and we’re on our way to get to the end, but we’ve still got some ways to go. I think with a sentence like that already stated, my opinion on Picard Season 1’s finale is already made abundantly clear.

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Star Trek: Picard "Broken Pieces"

7

Score

7.0/10

Pros

• Patrick is finally allowed to talk down to someone for doing wrong.
• Clancy's return to tell Jean-Luc what to do.

Cons

• Ok, how do we get to a finale from here?
• I hear another awful Scottish accent like that I'll start breaking someone's fingers.