Warning: The following article may contain language not suitable for all. Reader’s discretion is advised.

Fantastic, I’m sure the working Joes from Alien: Isolation did nothing wrong 14 years ago on Mars. Oh right, that was the entire point last episode with the TV interview. Fewer credits this time to writers, only Michael Chabon and Akiva Goldsman on the writing desk, Nick Zayas editing, and Hanelle M Culpepper once again directing. We’ll see Zayas again, writing for the 6th episode, but we know Goldsman fairly well, and Chabon worked on the last episode too. Both men working on Superhero films, with Chabon working on the impeccable Spider-Man 2 alongside Miles Millar, Alfred Gough, and Alvin Sargent.

After hearing about the robot Mars revolution, we’ve got the on-the-ground action. During a break for the skeletal work-crew on Mars, the Synth lifeforms begin to twiddle some knobs and press some buttons, causing the downfall of the Utopia Planitia Fleet Yards. Investigating the footage from the end of “Remembrance,” Château Picard becomes the Pentagon on the search to find out why it seemed to be a Tal Shiar mission that killed Dahj. Or it could be the Zhat Vash because there’s always a bigger, badder conspiracy around the corner.

Tropes aside, the old man and even his Romulan refugee housekeeper go on a Zhat Vash/Soji hunting mission. In it, we’ve got more tired tropes that are exhausting, but for the most part, it is to reveal she’s ex-Tal Shiar. Between lies and propaganda, even ex-Tal Shiar has advanced tech skills that beat out Starfleet’s highest ranks. Maybe I’m letting the later episodes cloud my judgment, but between the tropes and sometimes debatable writing that has already started, it makes Picard (specifically “Maps and Legends”) difficult to watch and enjoy easily.

Effectively a second pilot, you have the actual ground being laid after all the nostalgia, but there is still a heavy portion of that throughout “Maps and Legends.” From a tease that Picard will get the old crew on the phone (don’t tease me with a season 3 good time) to David Paymer’s Dr. Moritz Benayoun, asked by Picard to perform a medical so he can chase after Soji who’s off-world. The trouble is, despite the former Stargazer doctor’s understanding of Picard’s physical aptitude in his advanced age, there is something abnormal akin to dementia that might have fueled his interview outburst.

It could also be what is fueling his determination to find Soji, especially after the murder or supposed murder of Dahj as all evidence was wiped. So I’m sure when he goes to ask an admiral for a ship, crew, and lower rank, he’ll get a measured and happy response to everything he’s done recently. “The sheer fucking hubris,” no Admiral Clancy, tell me how you really feel. We’ll get to discussing the swearing in a minute, but I really like this. As much as we’re shifting towards something terrible within Picard, this was a great example of the continuation we expected from TNG into Picard.

The swearing is something Discovery got a little too happy with that many people got annoyed at, including myself. The reason it wasn’t prevalent throughout TNG, DS9, Voyager (yes, I’m even giving that credit), and Enterprise, beyond the TV restrictions is that these are professional high-ranking members of a military/governmental agency. Strip away the lovely, charming character that surrounds Starfleet, it is still an intergovernmental military. The ships and crews have weapons as well as training.

Jean-Luc’s housekeeper, Laris, letting out a “cheeky feckers” screams a writer that just learned how some Irish people talk. The Mars crew saying “shit” a couple of times felt like a writer trying to get some plaudits for doing what prestige TV does a lot, a vain attempt to seem mature. Ann Magnuson’s “The sheer fucking hubris,” while listening to Jean-Luc list off his checklist only days after he went on TV and called her and her people nothing but cowards? That felt earned. She’s tired of this old man thinking he runs the place like it is the good old days.

I don’t want this in every episode. It cheapens the whole thing returning to my point about prestige TV. It not only punctures his professionalism, it puts Picard back in his place as a civilian requesting his status is reinstated, he gets a ship, a crew, and everything he wants, to do what? Chase a young woman who could be anywhere – who she is, how to find her – he knows nothing. It wasn’t just the interview, it was the whole request and the way he treats Starfleet, like a toybox to open and play with the things he used to, now in his twilight years.

Again, I think it is the foreknowledge of what the series is about to do that is dragging me back from saying “This is great, this is fun, I enjoy all of this.” It is a mix between Culpepper as well as Chabon and Goldsman that are the reason I’m sort of left wanting more out of the episodes, thus far. They feel slow and despite being 40-45 minutes long, there is something in the pacing that doesn’t want to scream “adventure,” it is more “a plodding mystery.” It may also be that most of us are used to serialized Trek, not just one story.

As much as the B plot is about Evil Spock and Soji, I don’t think I care at this point. Partly because I have nothing from her and partly because he’s about as subtle as a 1940s film soundtrack, he’s the pounding drums of evil on the horizon. The problem I think I have with Soji is that she was introduced as the surprise “there is another one,” but other than being a researcher, thus far she has been a mystery box. This could be a problem with the slow pacing and what we know later on, but all the same, it almost feels like the point is “Twins are interchangeable.”

Soji and Narek are on a Borg Cube, there is tension of his evilness, she’s part of the whole reclamation project, and yet it feels like nothing is being done. Nothing is moving us forward at a great pace, and nothing is being done to further that plot as much as Jean-Luc moves, there are just vague hints of setting up characters, but at the end of the day, why should I care? It isn’t the fact the writing is bad. It isn’t, it is good a large portion of the time, but there is a lack of interest in the new characters.

Picard is a nostalgia factory for those who enjoy TNG, but it was The Next Generation, not “Oh look, pointy-eared space Jesus rides again.” Get me excited about the new characters, I’ll enjoy your show more; Get me excited only about the old characters, and I lose interest in your overall point. That’s where I’m lost on Picard at this early point, it wants to feed the nostalgia while also doing a very serious story about what it means to be human. You know, like “The Measure of a Man,” where we first met Bruce Maddox, one of the people we’re chasing.

Ultimately, “Maps and Legends” is a solid episode that may be that affirmation of our set-up going forward, but lacks a spark to keep me interested in its B-plot, thus far. I would say “I’d like to see a shift away from nostalgia,” but we’ve mostly all seen Picard, we know that’s not the MO going forward. It also means we know certain four-letter words don’t disappear and stay banished, as they should. The episode still had promise and heart, as well as a lack of serious action, so Culpepper’s direction didn’t have something to nitpick.

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Star Trek: Picard "Maps and Legends"

7.5

Score

7.5/10

Pros

• The hubris.
• Picard is starting to feel a bit more... Picard-y.
• "And take that one with you! You can die together."

Cons

• So much swearing, it was needless.
• What's with this slow pace in the B-plot?