The Orions are totally not overused recently in Star Trek. Returning from episode 2 “Children of the Comet,” we have Sarah Tarkoff, and Beau DeMayo of “Memento Mori” as well as every gay Star Trek fan’s Instagram timeline. These two head up writing for “The Serene Squall.” Meanwhile, the episode is directed by Sydney Freeland who’s best known for a number of smaller self-written dramas about her background since her dad is Diné, as well as odd episodes of Heathers, Grey’s Anatomy, The Walking Dead, and an upcoming episode of Marvel’s Echo. As far as I know, this is Freeland’s only Star Trek episode.

This is not the best episode of Strange New Worlds and in fact is one of those that has something to it but doesn’t fully engage well, “The Serene Squall” is the story of space pirates. I started this sarcastically noting that it is another episode with Orions. I get that Tendi and others might be breaking cultural norms for her people, but to quote a racist uncle “They are stereotypes for a reason.” Meanwhile, in the B plot, we’ve got more T’pring and Spock romance, with Spock seeking the advice of two White women. One is a reciprocal desire to shag and the other one wants to shag him.

As a swashbuckling TNG-infused adventure, the cackling villain this time actually seems devious from the outset. The morals are easily placed, and we know where everyone stands without sudden infatuation getting in the way. I am just going to get it out there: I quite like parts of “The Serene Squall” because of Captain Irish charisma, Spock doing some action, and Pike using one of his noted characteristics. I didn’t mention Queer as Folk (reboot) star Jesse James Keitel’s “Dr. Aspen” for reasons we’ll get into, but I do enjoy Pike and Remy’s Ratatouille.

It may be the direction from Freeland, maybe the writing from Tarkoff and DeMayo, or possibly the acting from Jesse James Keitel, but I don’t for one-second care about “Dr. Aspen” or as she calls herself Angel. There is a fine line of nuance that a cackling villain has to dance (think Missy in Doctor Who) and I don’t get that from her in such an episode with such a fast pace. To me, it is all the theatrics of villainy without the character to embed that hatred in.

The fact that we’re also neck-deep in a story about Spock and romance is no end of boredom on my part. Someone needs to suggest T’pring reads some Ruby Dixon if she wants to “spice” up her sex life. The man literally has so little emotion that happens to be his character, I honestly don’t understand this constant need to concentrate on his love life or put Nurse Chapel into a pining position for him. I understand a little more when it is Angel as she’s playing on him and T’pring having a relationship and there is a hint of sexual tension that wafts throughout the air in their scenes, which makes sense for the reveal of Sybok.

“That’s such a big reveal, why didn’t you build that up more, like you normally do?” if it has to do with Spock and Spock’s family, I want to drill nails into my tear ducts and perform a lobotomy so I don’t have to see another Spock-centric episode. I praised the action scene as Angel’s crew attacked the bridge of the Enterprise, as it showed that Spock is actually handy in a hairy situation. I simply don’t get how I’m supposed to care about T’pring trying to understand the sexual habits of humans by citing books released in our last century: Tropic of Capricorn, Fear of Flying, and The Argonauts.

I’m more interested in the character-based coup d’état on The Serene Squall after the away team gets captured. One of the first shots we saw of Pike was him cooking. When we were learning more about Uhura it was around the dinner table as Pike threw a party. When Angel is pretending to be Doctor Aspen it is done around the dinner table and not in the board room. That use of character and food to highlight the disgruntled crew is great, it is just a shame that it is also used to pretend anyone wants a sense of MCU-style comedy.

The problem I have with Alpha Braga IV and “Spock Amok” is that it more or less ignores what Sisko said in “The Ship” from DS9: “Maybe you haven’t noticed, but no one’s laughing. [being in a difficult position], but we will never get out of this if we don’t pull it together and start to act like professionals.” This is the same reason Discovery and I don’t get along. It seems written to excite wiki writers while failing to make it a joke. However, the trouble is that to viewers it is two people saying dialog to each other. There is nothing physical about it, nothing visual, it is just quoting an off-screen piece of history.

That’s what most of “The Serene Squall” is, an episode to establish or quote off-screen history/what the films did decades after this point in the canon. I want to like “The Serene Squall,” I want to believe that Angel will come back down the line and actually do something other than prance about giving some fans their sexual awakening, and I want to say there is a point to the episode. At the end of the day, I’m left asking what the point was other than to bring up Sybok? Whoever has this obsession with Spock (and his family) needs to put down the high-elf smut and go for a walk.

Ultimately, “The Serene Squall” is an episode filled with lore but sadly it isn’t the one with yellow eyes and an actual personality to antagonize. The attempts at being camp landed with all the grace of Molly O’Brien throwing her Toby the Targ stuffed animal across the room. At least, aside from Pike whose final pirate-y jeering for the bridge crew at the end is great because Mount can pull that off effortlessly. Though Peck and Bush are great in their individual roles, I can’t for the life of me get on board with the romance plot despite the headlong speed we’re heading into that with.

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SNW "The Serene Squall"

6

Score

6.0/10

Pros

• Pike's campy character makes an otherwise straight-faced episode fun.
• Michael Hough's Remy playing Pike's dumb counterpart.

Cons

• Shoot me (stun)! It is another Spock episode.
• Don't trust them White women, it will get you in trouble!