Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me. Ok, I’ll stop with the music quotes. Though, it is the episode where Billups’ is trying to avoid having sex, which his mother is trying to force upon him. We’re going a bit more wholesome than that description makes it sound though in Garrick Bernard’s episode with Queen Paolana. Also, I’m sure if I keep talking, I’ll get murdered by my editor for the same reasons I would be if I talked about MILF Manor.

“Where Pleasant Fountains Lie” comes from the writer of the fun and generally memorable “Veritas.” This is his second of three confirmed episodes. If I have to say something about Bernard overall, it would be that his three episodes are often one of each season’s most memorable episodes. “Veritas” had the almost courtroom drama to it, “Where Pleasant Fountains Lie” has space-royalist motifs, and “The Least Dangerous Game” is a monster hunt with Klingon board games. I want more episodes with Garak, though that’s enough about Elim. I’m hoping Garrick Bernard has an episode in season 4.

There is just an A-B story this time, as we’re focused around AGIMUS being taken to Daystrom by Beckett and Brad, as well as Queen Paolana trying to get her son laid. Similar to Landru (the computer, not the serial killer), AGIMUS has been ruling over a colony of people passing himself off as some kind of supernatural being. He isn’t supernatural, he just looks like one of those really ugly PC towers we saw at last year’s PC Gaming Showcase with all the blinky lights. Though it turns out that in transport to Daystrom, the Yosemite is pulled into a planet by a gravimetric shear.

In a three-man production of 12 Angry Men, we have Beckett, Brad, and AGIMUS fighting over whether it is right to let the evil super-computer plug into a ship to broadcast a distress signal. We know how this goes: Mariner believes Brad is still too naive to be trusted with free will around something that could be manipulating him. Boimler thinks he’s a real boy now, and AGIMUS (let’s just call him Barry) just wants to put his USB stick in a ship’s 3.5mm jack port. Wow, such a sexy episode, it might one day give Ruby Dixon a run for her money.

Onto the royal MILF Manor, Billups’ mum gives Carol a phone call via ye olde sate-o-lite, asking for help as ye olde engine has gone ye olde dead. I’ll stop with that now. Of course, Billups gives Carol the expositional rundown for our benefit than anyone else’s. Billups needs an assistant for the repairs to keep his mum off his anatomy, and Tendi pushes Samanthan to step outside of his boundaries to help with the dragon breath engine. I’m not joking, that’s what the Hysperian people call their Starship engines. That lovely campness gives Lower Decks the edge over other series.

Of course, in an effort to get Billups in the sheets, Paolana fakes her death with a large explosion in the fusion reactor and makes Tendi weep. Not because Billups is having to have a threesome with his soon-to-be guards/subjects, but because Samanthan was presumed to be in the engine room when it huffed its last dragon breath. This is probably about the time my editor is wondering why Billups getting some “Friggin’ in the Riggin'” is a big deal. Under Hysperian law, if the heir to the throne loses their virginity, they immediately become King. I guess that puts Charles out of the running.

Elsewhere, Barry appeared to make a rift in Mariner and Brad’s relationship. Given what we’ve seen in the last couple of episodes, I think that was apparent from the get-go. In truth, this is a well-done twist that is often done with too many signposts. A credit to Tawny Newsome and Jack Quaid as much as it is a praise of Garrick’s writing. As Beckett doesn’t trust Brad to tie his own shoes, (never mind outsmarting an evil supercomputer) the tension builds before Boimler phasers Beckett and takes AGIMUS to a ship so he can jack in. 

As it turns out, Billups can’t get it up, though I’m not sure if he’s taken a blue pill yet. With a touch of crying at his baby Billups in the mirror and Tendi finding Samanthan locked away to have a “we faked our death and Andarithio’s getting his hole” banquet, Paolana is found out. Billups was right, virginity is the right way after all. On an unrelated note that totally isn’t part of the episode, he probably also said no to drugs. I like the yummy drugs that T’ana gives out, though mostly when she’s hammered on catnip.

Joking aside and returning to the story of the three B’s, Brad plugs Barry into a massive ship that he thinks he can rule the planet (and system) with. Turns out Beckett didn’t have to worry so much, as Brad played into AGIMUS’ power-trip ideals and just put his stiff male end into the bright and shining female end of the ship’s dimmer switch. Yeah, it turns out AGIMUS is about as bright as a broken 2-watt bulb. Though I do love the scene in Daystrom as the camera pulls out to reveal all the quarantined “self-aware megalomaniacal computer[s]” in storage.

All the tiny references, including the one that is three to the left of AGIMUS, which is just a computer with an eye symbol on it. I wonder what that could be in reference to? I’m sure we could try and ask someone at Paramount/CBS, but I’m sure they are too busy making more episodes of Young Sheldon and whatever medical drama/police procedural/fire-related drama is being released now. There are a few good references in there, including the Star Fleet computer.

Ultimately, Garrick Bernard’s fun and character-based “Where Pleasant Fountains Lie” is just that, fun. I say this time and time again: Lower Decks has some minor problems of not being the most original in terms of storytelling, nor is it boldly going forth like an episode of TNG, but that’s the point. This is the series to do really simple stories, play on your love of TNG, DS9, or for some reason Voyager, and just be a lot of fun in this universe that is so often uptight and restrictive. I love the serious stuff, but this is a respite from the Dominion War and it is great.

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Star Trek: Lower Decks "Where Pleasant Fountains Lie"

8

Score

8.0/10

Pros

• I love the fantasy ship, I want more.
• "Did his Kingdom come?"
• The twist between Brad and Beckett is done well.

Cons

• There could have been more innuendo and fantasy names.