Wonder Boy: The Dragon’s Trap Is Free On Epic, Again

Monday, if you thought hell was bad, it turns out purgatory is worse in Chuhai Labs’ Cursed to Golf when it releases later this year. Meanwhile, Square Enix worked out how to overdesign characters for a tactical RPG. I’m glad they are stepping out of their comfort zone of overly designed claptrap in a turn-based format.

Tuesday, Tyra Banks simulator Fashion Police Squad got a release date reveal, and I for one can’t wait to use a belt as a grappling hook as I get caught up in legal cases over fashion police brutality. Thursday, Bayonetta 3 got a release date. As I am sure Alexx would like me to add, “finally!“

Another week, another Epic Games Store double bill to stomp all over, it must be Friday already. I’ll make this short simply because one of this week’s offerings I have so little to say on, I could send it to you via a postcard.

Anyone that thought I’d be pleasant about the offer of getting Baeloth and other champions from logging in to Idle Champions of the Forgotten Realms has been “passing the dutchie” too much. It is free-to-play nonsense passed under the guise of being a strategy game while $20 “microtransaction” packs actually let you progress. Yeah, no Epic, I’m going to pass on that one.

The second offer this week is of course a rehash of something most of us already have, Wonder Boy: The Dragon’s Trap. A 2017 platformer from Lizardcube and Dotemu, it is colorful, family-friendly, and quite attractive in comparison to the rest of the slop that I’ve covered for the past few weeks. I don’t know why I have been so disinterested in it since it was unveiled last week to be available once again. I guess I am simply not in the mood for something that oozes nothing but child-friendly charm. Quite possibly it is the lack of nostalgia for Sega’s late-80s series in the first place.

All this week, you can pick up Wonder Boy: The Dragon’s Trap and the tripe for Idle Champions on the Epic Games Store until the morning of the 21st. Next week you can get “over $100 value free” in Shop Titans, a free-to-play pile of liquid tripe from the people that brought you Transformers: Forged to Fight and other mobile/Facebook guff. Alongside Shop Titans and its supposed nonsense that is valued at $100 by no one with relevance, M2H’s Tannenberg is available once again. Because that’s what everyone wants right now, to play as Russia in a warzone or pre-Nazi Germany.