Well, everyone loves racism and dead kids in their Doctor Who, at least Chibnall does. It is either that or dead gays (happy Pride!). I didn’t like Sarah Dollard’s “Face the Raven” for any of the reasons she was involved. Sadly, I mostly despise what she did here with “Thin Ice.” At the best of times, Peter’s Doctor Who is on thin ice with me anyway, often too introspective to have an adventure or fun story. This episode goes in the complete opposite direction, being too self-involved to really get what Doctor Who is, or at the very least what the character of the Doctor is supposed to be.

I will admit that decking that racist for being a racist is spot-on for Malcolm Tucker and to some extent, Peter’s Doctor too. In fact, I’m sure Tennant’s Doctor will do the same if he’s put into that situation in the upcoming special. If only Chibnall was paying enough attention to that characterization when writing, “now they’ll see the real you!” about a brown bloke being de-White faced to Nazis, isn’t that fun? Or that time Jodie’s Doctor used space Nazis that she’s been fighting for at least 13 regenerations to solve her problems, then killed a TARDIS. Am I ever going to get over that? Does a bear use a Pope to wipe?

Idiots let loose on a truly fantastic show aside, Sarah Dollard and Steven Moffat both deserve to drink from the Thames for this episode. A kid named Spider that likes nicking stuff ends up pinching Peter’s sonic screwdriver, all before Spider ends up in the Thames almost half a century before Joseph Bazelgette puts a stop to the repeated cholera outbreaks due to sewage dumping in the river. Amid the last Frost Fair, the kid falls through the ice and ends up dead. Peter’s Doctor doesn’t care about that. Instead, he concerns himself with some tech we’ve seen created before, ultimately letting the kid die. Who in the holy Christ is this? He’s not the Doctor.

Shall we get to one of the bits that annoy the Daily Mail, Daily Star, and Daily Express readers? Beyond the point where Peter KOs the racist, Bill acknowledges slavery during the last Frost Fair in 1814, to which I’m sure someone somewhere wrote on a forum that the BBC was suddenly “woke.” It is fun to roll out the facts here, namely that the slave trade was abolished in Great Britain in 1807, abolished in the empire in December of 1834, and made illegal to own a slave in England in… April of 2010. To an extent, Bill pointing at her own face and mentioning slavery is also a bit odd, but most people seem to forget there are thousands of laws we forget about every day.

Sadly there is no River on the river as you hear “Superstition” in the distance, but I guess no one wanted to fork out enough for Alex Kingston to make a short appearance. What we do get instead is the typical monster under the water story. This includes people far too stupid to listen to a man with high blood pressure and a young Black woman to understand the danger. This is the third episode of Doctor Who that is fraught with dud decisions. “The Unquiet Dead” was meh, “School Reunion” was mostly ok, “Gridlock” is something I’ll hear nothing bad about, “Planet of the Ood” is shakey, and “Victory of the Daleks” is brilliant simply for the Ironsides.

That said, I do think we have a better pairing for the TARDIS from this point on. Unlike Ms. Amazingness out of the box, Bill is someone the Doctor has reason to be concerned about when traveling through time. However, Bill and the Doctor seem to agree on things more often as well. With their admiration for the TARDIS and her kink for danger, they both seem to be able to have character lines that gel into each other well without causing confrontation over tiny details. Even Pete agrees with me. You remember Pete, right?

Again, the push to make Doctor Who more Torchwood-esque, as we’ll call it, isn’t great. There is the “No shi–” moment before the cut to Sutcliffe’s mansion from the yard where the monster’s, umm, ablutions are processed by hand because it apparently burns hotter and longer than coal. I find that and the other attempts with Steven Moffat to make things like Class and this work to be one of the worst decisions made for Doctor Who in the last 10 years. I think Paul McGann’s recent interview at some northern convention said it best when talking about the casting of Ncuti Gatwa, on young people becoming engaged, “it is for them.”

I do like that the point of the episode is the need to save the monster, which has been chained up under the ice for centuries. As I’ve said, Peter’s cold and detached “I’ve seen far too many people die to care about this one” does bother me. Yes, there is a speech and it is fairly standard, but it doesn’t change the attitude towards a child, cute as a button with his Paddington Bear hat, being killed and we’re more concerned over rudimentary tech in this universe. Saving one life after either killing or watching a child die doesn’t nullify that imbalance felt throughout.

Ultimately, on a technical and professional level, “Thin Ice” isn’t the worst episode. It is, however, one that should be despised on principle. Not caring, not showing a hint of emotion, that’s not being the Doctor. He has two hearts for Christ’s sake, let him care! Anyway, Nardole is concerned about some knocking, but I’m more concerned about the use of the house that we first saw in “Blink,” Wester Drumlins. I will say, I am glad it is the only episode coming from Mike Bartlett, because that Until Dawn/teen-slasher film thing we’ve got going on next week is dull.

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Doctor Who "Thin Ice"

5

Score

5.0/10

Pros

• Peter and Pearl gelling well together.
• I'd have decked the racist too.

Cons

• Where is the Doctor?
• The dumb idea Doctor Who needs to grow up with its audience.