It has been a while, though I think it is obvious why. The last time I spoke about Nathan Drake, I made it quite clear I would rather feed that man through a wood chipper than put up with him for a moment longer. That said, Uncharted 2: Among Thieves is actually the game where it began to click. The gameplay was refining and the direction was clearing up to make way for a moderately interesting adventure. After finally bothering to watch a Spider-Man cosplayer take up the role of Nathan, as well as reviewing the first game on the YouTube channel, I decided to give the second a proper review.

The introduction of Aeryn Sun and that one bloke I always think of as a magician thanks to a trite straight-to-TV Selena Gomez film brings Nate back to the life of good-natured crime. Starting in medias-res following the ancient figure’s quote that starts every Uncharted game, you do more jumping around than the House of Pain.

Again, as I am sure I said before, I hadn’t played the Uncharted titles when they were initially released. I only checked them out when they had come to the PS4 in a not-so-shiny 1080p re-issue. Of course, with the series came a lot of word of mouth that spread like wildfire, and I can’t say that was the best experience.

No matter the lens you use, the Uncharted series is best described as a product of its time. The franchise is often described as the progenitor of the “cinematic game,” which just means pushing forward to watch the popcorn flick. This means that under any actual scrutiny they tend to crumble like a soggy digestive biscuit. The medias-res you are flung into works as a tool to mask the fundamental shortcomings of any Uncharted story. No one has the right mind to question the actions of what they or others are doing, there is a lack of a hero and a lack of a cohesive plot with actions that follow each other.

The Sony Pictures adaptation is a perfect example of the need to strangle a character into submission to make them the hero and the protagonist instead of just the latter. Drake and his ragtag band of immature tagalongs are some of the worst people. However, we’re constantly told through their lines, the scenes, motifs in the music, and otherwise, that they are the ones to cheer on. Why? They go on murdering their way through hundreds (if not thousands) of non-Whites in the first game and Russians this time around. Unlike games with similarly questionable protagonists, such as Tomb Raider and Just Cause, Uncharted isn’t tongue-in-cheek.

Nathan thinks of himself as a loveable rogue, though we’ve not seen the moment when he saves the cat, to use Blake Snyder’s tool again. He is a thief, he is smug, and he lacks a single redeemable trait. Every single time he or anyone for that matter speaks, I want to break Joss Whedon’s neck, as well as the hands of anyone who ever thought he was a good writer. Not a single character in the entire Uncharted franchise understands how to communicate like a human being, yet we’re supposed to believe these are humans who can have sex with each other as well as other interests? Elena is back, by the way.

Inexplicably, she is back once again to act as the love interest for Nathan when he walks off into the sunset in the final moments. At best, she’s the closest thing to a moral compass for the protagonist, yet just as culpable for countless murders when the “gameplay” kicks into effect once again. For which the question arises: What is the gameplay? Beyond shallow arenas that you are locked into with chest-high walls everywhere, trite gun combat, and Dan Brown puzzles (Apple!), I’d like to know as well.

In reality, Uncharted 2 is never supposed to be put under any sort of pressure. At least, that would be the desire of its creators. It is a Rolland Emerich production: No one aside from the extremely stupid believes the moon is actually hollow, that ice speeds along a hallway, that those wolves were real, or that Uncharted is the greatest advancement in the history of gaming. What the series did was pull focus away from the bits you are actually involved in and elongate the scenes with uncommunicative sub-humans fumbling over each other. What Among Thieves does is an attempt to reestablish a touch of balance to that change and refine what little gameplay there is.

Ultimately, while staying focused on the action at hand, Uncharted 2: Among Thieves does address some pacing and unrefined gameplay issues I have with its predecessor. With a star-studded cast including President Johnson and Odo among returning stars, I may not have been at the edge of my seat, but I cheered on the many deaths of my kindling for barbecues. Insufferable as ever, Nathan and his “friends” that he uses for his ill-gotten gains are about as friendly or funny as setting fire to the orphanage in the next game. If I play another one, I’ll probably have to be institutionalized.

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Uncharted 2: Among Thieves

$19.99

6.5

Score

6.5/10

Pros

• Refined gameplay, for what little there is.
• Odo and President Johnson.

Cons

• As ever, unlikeable leads fumbling over each other.