Ahh, Jamie Mathieson, you at least had one decent episode in “Mummy on the Orient Express.” At least that had some color about it and was a bit rosy in the cheeks and full of life. Yet here we’re left with desaturated visuals and budget medieval Judoon. Watching this series of Doctor Who is the definition of insanity, as said by an insane person. I keep going, but I can’t for the life of me find the enjoyment and light at the end of the tunnel. Aside from what “Face the Raven” finally does after all my ranting and raving.

Yes, the episode to introduce Me, not me but Me… Moffat! (Yes, I am shaking my fist) So Game of Thrones was popular, and if you survived the mid-2010s without seeing one of the actors from it in a major role else, you are a liar. I’m getting ahead of myself, I know, but it is either that or I talk about Moffat climbing up himself again to appease the smelly bit of the fandom. The same section that, in years to come, Tumblr will be recognized as when all the gifs of David Tennant are used for the sextillionth time.

I know I say it a lot, but I don’t hate “The Girl Who Died”. I mean this in a way stronger than my usual bit about the episode not necessarily being bad. As a story and a concept on paper, the Mire being a warmongering race led by a deformed despot shielded by a hologram to play god over simple people with the aim of extracting (literally) resources from them is solid Doctor Who. The problem I have with the episode, or more so the entire series and even the era, is the Doctor and the writing. I just want a solid character to believe in, not just feel lost in the world but hang on to his every word.

He’s just too wavering for the moment. He hangs on to Clara’s every whim, and is generally lacking in some character. He does have a bit of it, he’s the Doctor that will punch you if you say or do the wrong thing, and sometimes that fits the moment. However, there are bits that are often played off as childish comedy but never feel funny, especially with his grumpy-faced old man. An old man that will snap between nearly breaking down in tears over losing Clara to running up to Clara and giving her a thumbs up, because apparently, he doesn’t hug. Then he hugs her.

As much as Peter is running about and trying to command the episode, it is a very Clara-Who story. She’s directing him into problem-solving, she’s telling Ashildr that it will all be ok, she’s trying to defuse the situation with the Mire, and so on. As much as Peter has a few angry old man moments and uses the gravity tester in an attempt to scare primitive minds, he’s the companion. It is his story, but he feels more like the companion when she’s giving him the poke into “no, you have something to do here, figure it out.”

I like Maisie Williams, she’s good, but this literally could have any actor fitting the age range of a small teenage feminine actor with an air of androgyny to them under some slightly unflattering costume design. It is stunt casting, and I’m not saying Doctor Who hasn’t done it before, but it is there to spike the rating without much reason beyond that. She’s great in the role and I can’t fault her for that, but at the very least, I think a majority of actors could carry the role just as well. This isn’t a case of Simon Pegg playing Martin Short’s Frosty from The Santa Clause 3 though. At least there is that.

There is a lot of fluff to the episode, and yes breaking them would be in character for a brutish Viking, but he could have just as easily taken them and we’d have gotten the same episode. The same could be said about hanging on to the baby crying and attempting to make a joke out of “he can speak baby.” Yes, it got us somewhere but did it need to be that specific thing, or could there be something else that works better for character moments? Peter has a great character line when he sees Ashildr, “Premonition […] it’s just remembering in the wrong direction.“

The Doctor actually saying “pack up your stuff, get out, leave, and come back when the monster is gone” is great. I liked that moment of the Doctor actually being the Doctor, a man that is cowardly and unwilling to touch a weapon because he knows how dangerous they are. Then that’s ruined when Clara and the baby convince him into picking up arms and we get (surprise surprise) another whacky moment to show there is no consistent tone. Flapping about like an eel out of water, the tone just wanders off from time to time, sometimes grumpy and sometimes dopey.

That’s not to say the direction was off-kilter. In fact, I found it to be quite nice despite scenes often being either desaturated a bit, very dark, or monotonal at times. There was a simplicity to it, nothing too flashy but nothing too subdued either, making the entire thing look mundane. Also, it was oddly directed by the lead guitarist from The Vapors, known for their song “Turning Japanese” about self-gratification and a distant feeling after a break-up, Ed Bazalgette. I’m glad he went on to direct two episodes of The Witcher most recently, his style would benefit something like that. It is just a shame he isn’t so great next time out.

Ultimately, this was an episode for the long-term fans with an alright short-term story for someone fresh. The bit about the polarity being reversed was alright, as was the gravity tester (a yo-yo), and of course, where the face came from. The flashback to the line by Donna, “just someone, not the whole town, just save someone,” really is the point of the whole episode that makes all the attempts at comedy feel wrong. This was an episode where Peter wanted to bring a lot of weight to the Doctor, and he gave the drama sections his every fiber, but the comedy was an afterthought.

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Doctor Who "The Girl Who Died"

7.5

Score

7.5/10

Pros

• An interesting plot idea.
• Williams' performance.
• The moments with some weight.
• Despite looking crap, the monster's ugly looks were held in suspense.

Cons

• Bogged down by attempts at levity.
• Clara-Who