Prime Gaming - September 2021

I love this time of the year, it reminds me that I despise people as they say Billie Joe Armstrong should be woken up by the end of the month, ignoring the context of the song. By the end of this, I’ll hate September too, as my crumbling fingers try to for the seventieth time to spell it with all the apathy of whoever Olivia Rodrigo sang about. Given the collection of games I’ve been notified of, I think you’d have indifference too.

Players of Red Dead Redemption (2) Online can pick up the Vitalism Studios Pamphlet and get 50% off elsewhere in the latest offering. Players of GTA V‘s Online mode can still get an extra $400,000 with Prime, with both offers supposedly ending on October 31st, let’s see if that happens or it changes last minute once again this year. Once again, players of Sea of Thieves can pick up more cosmetics, with the current offer of a positive emote pack ending on the 13th of September. Players of Valorant can pick up another gun buddy before the 27th of September, one of those odd RGB PC towers, in the form of earrings for guns.

Players of League of Legends can pick up the second in the current rotation of three skin shards. Here we go, this will be fun: Madden NFL 22 players (myself included) can pick up the first of the Prime Gaming packs for Ultimate Team, the worst of the game modes. Legends of Runeterra players can pick up another Epic Wildcard, whatever that is. Those waiting on House Flip‘s timers to deplete, all of them have horrible timers unless you pick up the Prime Premium Pass. You can also pick up the back-to-school décor by the 14th of September.

If you are a fan of games older than all children right now, get yourself checked for nostalgia because that can be harmful, but you may like Sam and Max Hit the Road. Released in the period of point-and-click adventure games being at the height of gaming, it is often cited as one of the greatest games alongside the likes of Monkey Island. This usually means the only way to solve the logic is to huff gas for hours before playing so you can get a paperclip from under a piece of paper. Of course, you’d do this by smashing a car window to get an old man to chase away the kids playing in his yard, one of which runs into the tree outside and knocks the cat out of the tree which runs inside and moves the paper. I’ll never understand that logic.

RuneScape players can pick up the latest offering until the 21st of September which contains the Yak Track care package and some in-game currency. Players of Apex Legends can pick up Seer’s Check Me Out skins before the 10th of September. Players of War of the Visions Final Fantasy Brave Exvius will be able to pick up summon tickets and whatever a Gil Snapper is throughout this month. Meanwhile, players of Last Day on Earth: Survival can once again get the same cosmetic guff as before this month, even the corgi.

Mobile Legends: Bang Bang players can once again get a Prime chest alongside hero and skin trial cards, as usual. Brawlhalla players can pick up the Darkheart bundle which offers a skin, legend, emote, and a sidekick. Players of Destiny 2 can pick up the latest bundle(s), with the 12th (and last of this run) starting on the 22nd of September. Those playing Fall Guys can get the Snorkeller bundle, which is sadly not a crossover with the Snorks, but oh well. I guess you have until 29th to pick this one up after that disappointment. For the one person that is still playing World of Warships, you can get the summer container and the Premium Cruiser Emden pack.

Well, last month I didn’t have much to say about Secret Files: Tunguska, so I must have a lot to say about Secret Files 2: Puritas Cordis. No, of course not, there is a reason I’ve just padded this out with the titles for the majority of it. It is another point-and-click adventure that looks dated because it is. In fact, every screenshot on Steam is in 4×3 resolution. Middling in terms of quality for the time, it tries to go bigger and better with more intrigue and mystery-filled events, but really it could tell me the prize strippers and I wouldn’t care.

Free Fire is what would happen if you put PUBG: Battlegrounds on mobile, desaturated the image a bit, and flung all the controls across the screen so my fat thumbs obscure where I’m being shot from. Right now you can also get “diamond royale vouchers,” with crap-looking characters on offer later this month. Call now and I’ll give you a free recorded message of “I don’t care!” Meanwhile, players of Lineage 2 can get a new offer until the 27th of September containing the L2 coin cache. Anime wannabe Epic Seven is once again offering the same guff it does every week (well, bi-weekly) Pinky. The same can be said of MLB Tap Sports Baseball 2021. They are just offering a daily box and in-game currency from now and through Michaelmas (September 29th).

Going back to the MMORPG train, Guild Wars 2 players can pick up the Ascended Aurene outfits and two other drops coming later this month. Rainbow Six Siege players can pick up a 7-day renown booster before the 22nd. World of Warships: Legends players can get some camo and a commander crate, and continue to wonder why War Gaming is awful to its players and “content creators.” Warframe players can get a drone by the 21st. Genshin Impact players can get two offers that are yet to be revealed this month. Those playing Angry Birds Friends, 2012 called to ask how it is going, don’t tell them about COVID! You can pick up a series of power-ups.

If you don’t like the games listed for you this month so far, I’ve got some good and bad news: CG Magazine, yeah I’ve never heard of them either, said Candleman was the best 3D platformer since Mario 64. Whoever wrote that is so clouded with nostalgia they haven’t played Psychonauts, Super Mario Galaxy, Grow Home, any Ratchet and Clank, Jet Set Radio, Rayman, A Hat in Time, and the list goes on. Candleman: The Complete Journey is an indie game released in 2017 and found success as an alright platformer with a story about inspiration and light. Of course, it beats all of them, right.

This month is the final offering of FIFA 21 Ultimate Team packs with your Prime subscription, as the new one releases late in September. Players who act before the 16th of September can pick up Paladins Pyre Warrior Drogoz skin, and players of Smite can get the Shadow howler Hun Batz skin. Players of Dauntless have until the 30th to pick up the Arcslayer duel pistols repeaters bundle. Those playing World of Tanks can get the same guff again this month, but with slightly different decals and medals and the same consumables. Those playing Rogue Company have until the 17th to pick up the Jungle Commander outfit and Heist Dima skin, again.

Aion Classic is another MMORPG that is throwing theming out the window to let you dress like someone who suggests they are going to the gym or have been but never were, and you have until the 8th to pick up the costume. The final two bundles for Ludo King and Word Farm have offers ending tomorrow, but as usual, they go on to annoy me with their existence all throughout September. You can still pick up worthless tripe later on in the month too if you are that way inclined.

Sadly, this is where I have been hiding all the good games, unless you enjoy Telltale pre-The Walking Dead. The next game is Nelson Tether’s Puzzle Agent. Very much the Telltale game but with something that seems to be attempting originality. It stumbles as it very much takes from Fargo (film, not TV show) down to the character dressed a bit like Frances McDormand. None of which is to say that it is bad, but it isn’t calling to be played like some other games I could mention. I suspect next month we’ll see the sequel, released only a year after the original.

Alexx, Lisa, and I had a discussion recently on the visual novel/bookish games being rather… well, not what any of us want when it comes to playing a game. That may be the best way to summarize it. While it is true I do enjoy Disco Elysium and it is said that Interplay’s Planescape: Torment is the best book you’ll ever play, they are quite different from Unmemory. Yes, that’s what it is called. It is basically a book on a 27-inch 16×10 (in my case) screen in front of you with some text and an image of what looks like a random mess. It might be good idea maybe on mobile, but after a few hours, the gimmick may run a little thin pushing to about 4-5 hours.

Ok, yes, Knockout City may be markedly better than books you play and point-and-click games to some, but I can’t honestly get excited about EA’s multiplayer attempts to get people away from other games. Call me spoilsport if you must, but I personally hate online multiplayer, and that’s all Knockout City is. If you enjoy online competitive multiplayer, you’ll have a little more fun than I might. Even the colorful aesthetic isn’t interesting to me on this one.

The next game is seemingly a bit like a painting and decorating version of Moving Out but with a little less style to it. Tools Up, from what I can seem to understand, is about renovating a house that needs a lick of paint. On the face of it, Moving Out looks to be the more interesting in terms of visuals and appeal, but that is more simple as you “YEET!” a couch out the living room window followed by everything including the kitchen sink. Tools Up seems a little more complex and doesn’t look as appealing with muted colors and characters that just lack character (like some builders I know). Out of everything, it is the one I’m most interested in, but could still be a disappointment to some.