The time period is Victorian-ish. There is no companion, and the Doctor is mopey and dejected. Ahh, Clara must be about! Her, the lizard lesbian, Mr. Potato head, and Jenny all show up. Let’s get it out the way right now. I don’t like “The Snowman.” It is an episode lacking anything interesting, other than the simple fact we have two Doctors.

Well, not two Doctors per se, but two actors who’ve played the character in different eras of the show. The classic-era is dominated predominantly by unknowns breaking through to cult stardom. The wilderness years to the broader audience is Paul Mcgann alone, but there are exceptions breaking the rule. Then we’re in new-Who-era with Christopher Eccleston in his role to returning the character to screens for a new viewership. The actor in those wilderness years that broke into the role, rather under the radar as well, was a disinterested Richard E Grant.

So why have him back for another part, a returning villain no-less? He’s a big name, and it seems he’s learned to at least feign interest in the show during his run in Series 7. That warrants a spoiler alert for some of this series, I guess. In fact, I think he’s the solitary actor (don’t quote me on this) to play two different Doctors and a villain. No, I’m not counting Colin Baker in there with his role as one Doctor, and the prior role of Maxil; A regeneration role akin to a young Peter Capaldi’s casting in “The Fires of Pompeii” and later as the 12th Doctor. The point I’m attempting to get to is, outside of Doctor Who, I don’t believe I’ve regarded Grant much as an actor.

I hate to say it, as he’s one of the highlights of the story, but he doesn’t feel as powerful as the episode makes him out to be. A young lad suddenly has alien snowmen talking to him and he grows up to become Dr. Simeon, a man of great wealth in a period of widespread poverty. The Doctor, moping about London under the protection of the lesbians and the potato one, starts noticing the snowmen after meeting Clara. This is where trying to explain this goes a bit Pete Tong, as it is Clara but also not Clara. I’ve got a feeling my editor will be phoning Diana Burnwood to get Steven Moffat “dealt with.”

All you need to know about this episode is: A rich and powerful bloke with talking best-friends is killing people under the influence of Sir Ian McKellen, and let’s be honest, you would too. I think this is why I don’t think of the Great Intelligence as an imposing threat. He’s a disjointed voice that imposes his directions in a not-so-convincing fashion, a villain without free will. He needs others to do his bidding: Yetis, Snowmen, Simeon, Spoonheads, and Whisper Men. I’m not jumping for joy that he’s overwhelmed, or believed to be, because I simply assume it is from his lack of capacity to stop it.

That’s enough about the lack of physical presence from the Great Intelligence, let’s get to the emo. Yeah, I didn’t like that Amy sent herself back to 1938 with Rory either, but there is something to be said about the level of depression this one sent the Doctor into. I’ve seen people less hysterical and troubled after being stabbed, and I haven’t seen that many people being stabbed. The character is meant to be fun, adventurous, and energetic. You can’t drop that to suddenly becoming the universe’s most depressed Time Lord. It puts too much weight on one person’s death or disappearance when the character’s gravity is based on the amount of death surrounding him every minute of the day.

This is where it is probably best to bring up Clara, the woman who dies several times a series to make her a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a sausage roll. I really hate Clara. I think you could get a better companion out of a wet paper bag with a smiley drawn on it. At least then it wouldn’t turn and say, “let’s kill kids!” No, I’m not the mopey Doctor, I’m the happy one this time around. I need to stay upbeat because Christ, this isn’t episode wasn’t going to be. Clara isn’t a good character, and her death at the end of the episode could have been the end of this nonsense. Shockingly enough it is not. It was yet more fuel for the depressed Doctor to get angry.

I think what bothers me the most about this very entangled story-driven episode that also ties so much into the proceeding half of the series and the second is just that. It is Christmas, ok it is actually the end of August as I write this, but it was a Christmas episode that tried desperately to not be a Christmas episode. Everyone has had a full Christmas dinner and are now munching on their third Turkey sandwich. If you are giving someone detailed plot points at that very moment you are a fool. This is the episode that pulls in more viewers or just as many viewers than the series opener, so you have to be a bit broad when giving it to those who aren’t watching the 3rd episode of series 7 but will watch the Christmas special.

Ultimately, if it were an episode that slotted right in the middle of a series as it aired normally, I wouldn’t have minded it. It is not a bad episode but it lacks fun or adventure. Yes, next week I get to run off with a young babysitter with big brown eyes and nice brown hair, but the point here was that it would be months before Clara and the grumpy monk were in an episode again. I’ll say it now, I didn’t love “The Bells of Saint John” either, but it is at least a slightly better episode than this was. I wasn’t invested in the episode and I don’t think anyone can be when they are full of turkey sandwiches.

Phenixx Gaming is everywhere you are. Follow us on Facebook, TikTok, Twitter, YouTube, and Instagram.

Also, if you’d like to join the Phenixx Gaming team, check out our recruitment article for details on working with us.

Phenixx Gaming is proud to be a Humble Partner! Purchases made through our affiliate links support our writers and charity!

Doctor Who "The Snowmen"

5

Score

5.0/10

Pros

• The Lizard lesbain, the Victorian, and the Potato.
• Sir Ian McKellen's performance.

Cons

• Let's kill Clara again to add mystery when she returns! Great idea.
• Simeon isn't the best character as a villian.
• A Christmas episode without the Christmas feeling.