Prime Gaming Loot - March 2021

I wonder what would have happened to this month’s article if I simply didn’t like anything from this month’s Prime Gaming “loot?” The same as I do every month pinky, moan and moan until I can’t moan anymore because the Amazon overlords finally understand a man’s simple sexual pleasures: A Souls-like. That’s enough about the games for March for the time being, we’ll get to them towards the end. Otherwise, I wouldn’t bother with all the tripe for Maplestory M, Roblox, and other god-awful nonsense like UFC 4‘s latest garish and uncouth-like cosmetic.

Let’s kick off with a list of what I want out the way first: Mobile tripe.

Starting tomorrow (the 2nd), the 10th drop will be available for Black Desert Mobile. This offer ends on the 16th March. Of course, it will be replaced with the 11th drop until the 30th of March.
As analogous as the rude metaphor I was going to come up with, players of Hole.io can get 14-days ad-free until the 4th. Though, if you aren’t quick enough, afterward you’ll get 21-days ad-free of dragging an inescapable hole around.
You may also want to pick up the similar “deals” being provided for Helix Jump, Cube Surfer, and Aquapark.io.

Continuing on the dread of things ending in “io” like we’re on a farm or something, Agar.io continues to “delight” us throughout the month (shoot me now!). The 8th drop, containing 1 special skin, 100 DNA, and 1500 coins is still available until the 8th. The 9th drop, which includes a golden potion, a skin, and 24-hours of triple mass boost, is available from the 8th until the 22nd. If you’re smart enough to keep up with that you’ll know when the 10th drop kicks in, which will feature one Easter potion and 150 DNA. That last one will end on the 5th of April as we head into the final two drops of the total 12.

I should quickly cover this as it ends on Wednesday and we don’t know what will be replacing it. Players of the MMORPG older than your gran, RuneScape, can still pick up the Valentine’s Weapon Pack and Currency bundle. It is bundle with a bow, some arrows, and some in-game currency. I don’t think you desperately needed me to explain that one in too much detail for you. However, you’ll want to act fast, as this offer ends on the 3rd of March.

Also ending on the 3rd is the 7th drop for War of the Visions: Final Fantasy Brave Exvius. Sadly that drop is not a better name, neither are the following three for this month.
Players of Risk: Global Domination can currently pick up the (seemingly) final drop: Prime Emote Pack 3. This offer ends on the 4th of March.
Epic Seven has reset for a further 18 fortnights in my future, the first of which has already passed. The second ending on the 10th, the third on the 24th, and I’ll want to jump in the river by the 7th of April.

I would say this has to be a joke, but I know it isn’t; though it does end on the 1st of April, so hopes are high. EA’s game about big beefy half-naked men sweating all over each other in attempts to kill each other has moved on to its second drop, a Russian’s garish purple tracksuit. I honestly don’t get the point in UFC, what makes it less homoerotic than wrestling? If you want your angry digital man to look like a Russian pimp that likes hanging around young men, this drop for you!

Players of Legends of Runeterra can continue to confuse me with their Epic Wildcard thing. You can pick up the current one until March the 9th.
The 5th drop for Rogue Company is here, and it is a wavy purple wing-suit. This offer is available until the 4th of March.
The final Rocket Arena drop (for season 2) is here and it is “Seguaro Jayto Outfit.” Nope, I have no clue either. It is available until the 17th of March.
Until the 25th of March, Smite players can pick up the Fabled Artio skin. She’s got big breasts, and that seems to be the selling point in the art.

I honestly love doing this every time: “Everyone can music!” I’m not going to write out the Alphabetti Spaghetti of song titles and artist names this month, mostly because no one knows who Dayon, Sture Zetterberg, or Craig Reever happens to be. I will say, that from the 11th of March, you can get “Shallow” by Lady Gaga, and from the 1st of April you can get “Bad Guy” by Billie Eilish. I’ve no idea what the second one is, but I know Billy Idol is great at reinventing himself.

League of Legends players can pick up the current three mystery skin shards, available until the 8th of March.
Players of Valorant can pick up the Lovebyte gun buddy until the 22nd of March.
In the 6th drop for Paladins, players can pick up the Doom Shroom Grover skin until the 29th of March.
Players of Darkness Rises can continue to dress like period-drama perverts, as I believe the kids are calling that, Bridgerton.
It’s done! The 7th drop is here, Roblox players can pick up the PB&J hat and look stupid somewhere outside of my purview. I’m so excited to never talk about this ever again!

The second of the Apex Legends drops are here, and two days following last month’s article it was confirmed that Apex Legends will be coming to the Nintendo Switch. Coming on March the 9th, one might assume that Prime members will be able to connect their accounts and get the same skins those on PC, PlayStation, and Xbox enjoy currently. Currently, Prime members can pick up the Fuse skin Freedom Fighter. Think Handsome Jack mixed with Tony Stark, by way of a divorced dad.

Until the 11th, players of World of Warships can pick up the Legendary Lunar New Year Content set. Offering players colorful camo and items.
Those playing Rainbow Six Siege can pick up the 7-day Renown Booster pack until the 19th of March.
If you’re still playing Hyper Scape, you can still pick up the second battle pass. Though you’ll have to be quick, as the offer ends on the 11th of March.

Players of Maplestory M may have missed the first drop of the series of drops running until the 28th of July, however, you can still pick up the 2nd. Until the 10th of March, players can pick up Legendary Whetstone boxes for both weapons and armor, 50 and 100, respectively. The 3rd drop will give players 5 10-million Red Meso Exchange tickets, with the offer ending on the 24th of March. Following that it is a box of cosmetic nonsense: hair, face, dye, contact lenses, and other claptrap.

Sports ball the foot edition is once again offering another Prime Gaming pack for FIFA Ultimate Team for FIFA 21. This time it ends on the 2nd of April.
The other sports ball one is to do with that Super Bowl thing, with 2 players with an 86+ OVR from Super Bowl past. With a chance of a player of 94 OVR. Offer ends on March the 15th.
The third Fall Guys drop is the MVP costume and a collection of 3 crowns. This offer ends on March the 16th.
The third drop for Star Wars: Squadrons players once again offers cosmetics that go against the publisher’s previous comments on pink.

I understand when I claim that I am a tiny bit like Jeremy Clarkson (very loud and stupid) I bring a bit of James May common sense. Somehow I don’t believe a tank is great for fishing. World of Tanks‘ latest drop is The Big Catch, with a piscine decal, a fishy medal, and the usual guff: Rented tanks, consumables, XP boosts for missions, and a single day of WOT premium. You’ll only have until the 18th of March to pick up the catch before it slips away… as much as you can from the range of a tank.

Those of you still playing in the vicious hell that is that avaricious 2K pits of grinding for pennies, you’ll want to know about the Red Dead Online content. You get mostly the same crap as before: Ammo, in-game discounts, a bounty hunter license, a one-time sign-up bonus, and now, 5,000 club XP. Players of Grand Theft Auto V‘s Online get exactly the same as I’ve said for the last two or three months.

The last of the 4th set of the Destiny 2 drops has arrived: Imperial Projection Exotic Bundle Drop. Including the titular Imperial Projection ghost, the Six-Shooter exotic emote, Warrior’s Steed sparrow, and the Oviraptor ship. It is available across the several platforms of choice: PC, Xbox One (S/X), PS5, PS4, and Google Stadia, with the offer ending on the 24th of March.

In its final month, until the 31st of March, Prime subscribers can pick-up the SNK bundle. It is filled with many arcade and console classics, and you can pick up everything including: The SNK 40th Anniversary Collection, Metal Slug, The King of Fighters, the Samurai Shodown series, and more. I’ll be honest, I’ll be happy to see the back of this one too.

Before we get to the proper game that I’m excited about and want to cover, I’ll talk about what I’ve not covered in the weekly game updates. Adventures of Chris is a 90s-style 2D platformer about a tubby lad using the power of being himself to bore me to death with his generic-platformer-looking gameplay. Once again, it is not one that is aimed at me with the weekly game giveaways, but then again, most of these aren’t, and I understand that. Nor am I set alight by Strata, a simple puzzle game about untangling wires; I’m a musician, I do that enough, thanks. The latter is available until the 5th, the former until the 12th of March.

I’m going to skip ahead to the end of the month and jump back to what disappears before in the next paragraph. This tells you two things: I don’t like this one, and I do feel intrigued by the next one. Sine Mora Ex is a side-scrolling shoot ’em up bullet hell mix that simply doesn’t light any fires, and maybe that’s a personal opinion that they are all the same anyway. If it is your thing, I can’t fault you, you’ll have until the 26th of March to pick up Sine Mora Ex, but I’ll not be that interested in doing so.

A special school for weirdos that have a mysterious ability to solve simple enough puzzles? As long as I don’t have to run over the history of the place being astroturfed, I am taking that owl back to that school. Ok, yes, Alexx already made the comparison with his review of The Academy: The First Riddle, but unlike him (and many others) I already hated Joanne for being quite bull. Yes, Harry Potter can set fire to his genitals and I wouldn’t care, but I am interested in this strange little puzzle game with a nice-simple art direction. Available only until the 19th of March, you’ll want to be quick on this one.

A 2D Souls-like that’s as brutal as those special videos your dad stars in on the internet; Yes, please! I’ve wanted an excuse to drop in on Blasphemous for a while now, I’ve just never bothered to pick it up before now. Now I can lose several days of my life to swearing at Lord Buckethead over here for not being quick enough to assume what I want him to do. I am going to love it and all its weird dark religious iconography brutally impaling me in every which way it wants. It is a bit like any woman I know, really.

Tengami is a pop-up storybook take on the indie atmospheric adventure game of constantly moving right. I’ll put my hand up and say, I’d never heard of Tengami until I got the briefing on what was coming this month. Though, as I am sure many of you just did, I noticed the pop-up storybook thing with the other inflections that the art direction has taken. I am oddly interested, just to see it in-action.

Those of you still in the mood to play co-op games, what is your secret? I’ve got three bodies under the back patio like I am Harold Shipman, I need to stop killing people in Lockdown or I am going to be found out. On a more serious note: Boomerang Fu is a party game that is, much like other party games, meant to induce fighting. However, unlike when someone gets the blue shell, you are only meant to fight the other players in-game as you throw boomerangs around the place.

Speaking of Nintendo games that I just simply don’t understand, Star Fox, how did that ever become a thing? I could as the same of those laser pointer gun things, but one late 90s thing at a time, please. SkyDrift is quite Star Fox with a hint of Mario Kart thrown in to make you bite a controller in two a little sooner. Again, it is one of those “I don’t care, therefore, I am going to make it obvious that I don’t care and underline that by drawing attention to the fact I have made it obvious.” Yeah, I am not that interested in SkyDrift either, if that wasn’t obvious enough.

A recycled title has to be a good one, and by far, this is a good one. David did a video on Bomber Crew a while back, and we’re back again talking about it with Prime for at least the second, maybe third, time. It is a little like FTL and is a bit cartoonish on the My First City Redevelopment Planning side. You take control of a titular Bomber Crew hailing out of a RAF base in the UK. With your crew and your papier-mâché (it’s French for soggy paper) plane, you take on that villain from World Kerfuffle 2 – Electric Boogaloo. It is silly cartoonish fun without the usual World Kerfuffle 2 trope of setting up the Nazis are bad, they just are.