Prime Gaming Loot - February 2021

What’s that, I should talk about money, GameStop, and the stock market? No, I value my sanity, so I’ll be spending the first article of the month talking about… Prime Gaming. No, you’re right, short-selling stock on a gaming retailer is the bad thing to do, so you could make more of the invisible thing we call money. We should instead all go buy stocks in this gaming retailer that a majority of you didn’t care about until the rose-tinted vision set in that it will go the way of Blockbuster and die.

All the while, we’ll happily buy directly from the Microsoft, PlayStation, and Nintendo, Steam, GOG, and Epic storefronts for the convenience of a digital sale. Even then, Walmart and other stores (including Amazon) chewed up that same business of high-street retailers of the last decade. I believe that’s a loud enough faux-cough to make a statement clarifying that we never have to hear about that made-up thing called money again, nor the stock market.

So let’s get to that subscription service filled with useless things money can’t actually buy. Let’s start with EA’s newest deal of UFC 4 drops, because I care as much about breaking people’s arms as Malcolm Tucker likes giving out compliments. Until the 4th of March, you can get a purple crown for your angry man to wear before fighting, along with a Prime-branded player card picture and background. Value for money! Yes, I am going to be this irritating about MMA until June, so strap-in.

Still here like that turd that won’t flush, Immortals Fenyx Rising continues to feature for the third month with the same cosmetics available. Until the 3rd (Wednesday from first publishing) of February, players of the cartoon Greek game can still pick up the Fenyx Shivering character pack. This pack includes: the smooth steam wings, frozen phosphor phoenix skin, Kinesis mount, cold snap armor, and cold snap helmet. Prime members can pick up the bundle for PC, available consoles, Amazon Luna, and this thing called “Google Stadia.” Must be Zeus’ other brother that doesn’t like Zagreus.

Ending just as quickly, players of the MMO-RPG RuneScape can currently pick up the penultimate drop in the current run: Five knowledge bombs. The drop is available until the 2nd of February, which will be replaced by something that will probably include a 7-day membership or Umbral chests and premium currency. At the time of writing, there is no word on what this replacement will be.

Something just as boring as the phrase “short-selling” or “stock market,” War of the Visions: Final Fantasy Brave Exvius continues to slug on. Until the 3rd of February, players can pick up the 5th drop, a collection of ten burst pots. Throughout the month, players can also pick up one rainbow vision sphere, along with one ridiculously named “MR+ Guaranteed Unit Summon Ticket A.” The former item is available from the 3rd onward, with the latter ending the gay disco on the 17th to replace it with nonsense.

Let’s continue on with more mobile tripe that saps nothing but joy from your life. Agar.io‘s 6th drop ends on the 8th of February; currently, you can pick up one Valentines Day potion and 150 DNA. The 7th drop will run from then until the 22nd, giving players one golden potion, a skin, and a 24-hour triple XP boost. From the 22nd until the 8th of March, players will be able to pick up one special skin, 100 DNA, and 1500 coins.

Speaking of a game of skins, the never-ending rollercoaster of League of Legends content continues on the plateau of boredom. Until the 4th of February, players with Prime memberships can pick up three mystery skin shards, which individuals do something about mystery skins; I don’t know, I don’t play things that bore me to death. However, with a collection of three shards together, players can trade all three for one mystery skin permanent. These offers are continuing to roll out every ten-days from the 4th of February until the 29th of March. Yes, a majority of that is just me regurgitating the same thing I’ve said several times before, enjoy.

If I say “Everyone can music” you can rightfully put me in a mental hospital for going insane, but you also know I am about to rattle off some nonsensical song titles and artists I’ve never heard of. Players of Magic Tiles 3 can once again pick up the one-day VIP Pass with their Prime membership and enjoy, “Dance Monkey” by Tones and I, “Between the Lines” by COE, “Remix” by Elijah N, “Does Somebody know” by Aiyo, “Naked” by Sinne, and “Lifeline” by Lvly. That’s just what’s available this week, along with all the other guff available throughout the rest of the month. This game’s Prime partnership ends on the 25th. The final offer includes the only song that I know, “Bad Romance” by someone that wore meat and calls themselves Lady Gaga.

Who knew you could start a war in the stars without being a massive space racist? Just doing it because you want to rule over everyone for idealistically corrupt reasons. Anyway, Star Wars: Squadrons is a thing that came out and, it did just that without much fanfare or prolonged release. As a result, it dropped from everyone’s consciousness, which lasts about half a nano-second. The second drop of the game’s cosmetic offerings is ending on the 9th of February, with very dull helmets available for the good people on both sides. On the 2nd of February, the third and penultimate drop of the four drop series will be revealed, giving a bit of crossover between drops.

Ending on the 5th of February, and to be replaced by the exact same thing from now until after Michaelmas, Legends of Runeterra confused the bejesus out of me. I’ve spoken about this game for about a year now and I still can’t tell you what an Epic Wildcard is. However, players of the PC game with Prime memberships can pick up one every month until December. I’ll be in the corner confused at what the game is meant to be in the first place, so far I’ve got “crap Hearthstone.”

London, what a dump. Nevertheless, I love it and the number of times I’ve saved it from tinfoil tyranny is proof, along with the times I’ve played Watch Dogs: Legion. With your Prime membership, You can pick-up the Nerdcore + Futurist collection with 24K in ETO. Players get two outfits you’d have to be mental to wear and a metric ton of in-game cash, at least more than basic progress can often get you anyway. This offer ends on the 18th of February. Much like other Ubisoft titles, the offer is available for those across Amazon’s Luna, PC, available consoles, and the Stadia thing we’ve still no understanding of.

The fourth drop in the Rogue Company drops, which total 11, features Kikuma Winter’s ’20 Ronin Outfit. This offer will be ending on the 4th of February and is available across PC and consoles such as PlayStation 4, Xbox One, and Nintendo Switch. There is no word on what will be replacing the outfit/skin following the 4th. One might assume based on previous drops that it will be an emote, skin, or gun wrapping.

The sixth, and sadly not the last, drop of the Roblox guff is a pair of snow-covered ice wings. This offer ends on the 12th of February, and can be picked up for the PC, Mac, Xbox, iOS, and Android versions of the game that looks like crap. That criticism comes from a man that just the other week reviewed Minecraft, a game where every animal is boss-eyed by design.

If you thought I was a bit too harsh on EA’s UFC 4, you are not going to like me until August on FIFA 21’s Ultimate Team tripe either. The first of several drops is here for people who think kicking balls for a living is worth millions, then there are sportspeople. Over the next several months you’ll be able to get “1x 81+ OVR Player Pick Item” and four rare gold players items. Along with this comes the note “Team of the Year player items are available in FUT 21 for a limited time.” So for a short time, it seems that unlike getting players you’ll get things less useful, enjoy playing with balls.

The third drop in the Destiny 2 drops for this year is the Graviton lance Exotic bundle. This bundle includes the Graviton Lance exotic weapon, the Carina Beula exotic weapon ornament, the cosmos shell exotic ghost, and the Avalon Counsel legendary sparrow. This offer is ending on the 24th of February, and is available across PC, Xbox One, PS4, and that Stadia thing again.

Honestly, she looks like a child and I don’t like that she’s holding mistletoe (ignoring that it is now February). World of Tanks has updated to offer a charm collection featuring “Omelia Hayworth” as a commander, a ‘kissing bough’ decal featuring her. You also get free rental of tanks, chocolate, XP missions, medals, inscriptions, 20 missions with a 5x boost on XP, new battle missions, and 1-day of World of Tanks premium with your Prime subscription. This offer is available until the 18th of February and is available for PC players.

Speaking of starting over in the New Year, World of Warships has updated to offer something new and different. Players with a Prime subscription can get early access to the Italian battleship named after Italian poet Dante Alighieri, which was a ship later sold for scrap. Along with this you also get “everything you might need to command her,” though said descriptor doesn’t say exactly what you’ll need. This offer will end on the 11th of February and much like its tank-based counterpart is only available for PC players.

The fifth drop of the Paladins drops is a kunoichi Skye skin, available until the 28th of February. It can be redeemed across PC, PS4, Xbox One, and Nintendo Switch.

The three people with a Prime subscription that are still playing Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout can get the Slushie bear costume for your little expressive bean-thing that not even KFC is offering to advertise on anymore. Along with the bear costume, you also get 6500 Kudos, whatever they are. This offer is ending on the 15th of February and is available across PC and PlayStation.

Risk, it is not just that thing you run while on a long commute and there’s no bathroom, it is also the board game turned into a mobile game. Prime members that are playing Risk: Global Domination have until the 4th of February to pick-up the second Prime emote pack. From there on, you’ll be able to pick up the third Prime Map pack featuring France (as seen in Central America) and Asia in the 19th century. With the ending on the 18th, players will be able to pick up the third Prime emote pack, which then ends on the 4th of March.

Darkness Rises is sadly not a mobile port/take on the 2007 2K first-person shooter where you had tendrils/cartoon piranha-things coming from your shoulders. Instead, it is the new thing Prime is hocking in the place of some other mobile gubbins. It looks to have a cheap fantasy setting making the Dark Souls: Remaster look like the Lord of the Rings in 4K. Just know it is a fantasy-based “Slasher” game for mobile that assumes women dress like amateur strippers while blokes wrap themselves in that much leather cows are going extinct. From now until the end of time (about July), you can pick up stylized costumes of different periods for this utter tripe.

Speaking of some utter smite, SMITE. The fifth drop for the game I thought was just a palette swap for League of Legends has dropped and I feel like I am about to swear in Finnish. Players of the game with a Prime membership can pick up the Fiendish Rage Cu Chulainn skin, which is available until the 24th of February. Players can pick up the skin for their PC, PS4, Xbox One, or Nintendo Switch version of the game.

Sadly while I thought Darkness Rises might be replacing Black Desert Mobile, I had a bit of hope. I guess I’ll just continue not understanding a single thing I am about to say. Quick players can pick up the Alchemy Stone Enhancement page until the 2nd of February; though, if you weren’t as quick as that, you can still pick up the Larger Totem chest from then until the 16th. From the 16th, players can pick up the Large All-Inclusive Fragments chest, available until the 2nd of March. Yes, I made about as much sense of that as I assume you do of Mandarin.

Players of Apex Legends can still pick up the Queen of Hearts skin for Wraith, available until the 17th of February. However, starting on the 5th, players will be able to pick up whatever the next skin is during the crossover period for seemingly all EA-based offerings. Wraith’s skin is the first of twelve total drops, and players with a Prime subscription can pick up the skins for PC, along with the PlayStation and Xbox family of consoles. With the possible Nintendo Switch port releasing soon, you might be able to pick them up there too.

Speaking of EA’s crossover periods, players of the Madden NFL 21 Ultimate Team thing can pick up two drops currently. The Campus Heroes pack offers players three OVR NAT Campus hero players with a chance at a 95 OVR player. Meanwhile, the Playoffs pack offers players a NAT 87+ OVR with a chance at a 93 OVR NFL playoffs player. One would assume the latest of those would be the playoffs pack, and it seems to be available until the 23rd of February. If I were you I’d hurry to pick up both. Both are, of course, available on PC, along with the PlayStation and Xbox family of consoles.

Finally, the last time I’ll have to talk about this grey Battle-Royale that Ubisoft plopped out, I can’t wait for it to be gone. Hyper Scape‘s Prime battle pass which has been available since late November is coming to an end on the 28th of February. The battle pass offers players with Prime subscriptions several skins, an emblem, an emote, and other characterless guff. Goodbye, good riddance, and all the other nonsense. You can redeem the battle pass for PC, PS4, and Xbox One.

Another Ubisoft drop ending is the Carolingian Dynasty gear pack for Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla. It offers a shield, a mount, a weapon, a gear set, and skins for your raven and boat. This offer is ending on the 12th of February. Available across Amazon’s Luna, PC, available consoles, and that Stadia thing that must be like the real-world events in an Assassin’s Creed game, crap.

Next is the fourth drop in the Rocket Arena drops, the only player of the game can pick up the Sawtooth Spirit Leef outfit. Available until the 18th of February, you can redeem that skin across PC, PS4, and Xbox One.

Speaking of not understanding the youth, Valorant. Players of the arena shooter-thing can pick up the Zoomer Pop Gun Buddy, because what you really want while playing a competitive shooter, a distraction stuck to your gun. This offer ends on the 22nd of February, with the offer only available to those on PC with Prime memberships.

I’ll do these three in one paragraph because they can all jump off a bridge in tandem and create floor pizza together for all I care. Aquapark.io, Cube Surfer, and Helix Jump are all offering incremental numbers of ad-free days with your Prime subscription. Along with this, they can collectively jump in a ditch of fire and I wouldn’t urinate on them. I honestly don’t care about the dates for each, and if you do, good for you, I have some sanity left to preserve.

The last of the Ubisoft drops is Rainbow Six Siege, which explains itself so clearly to someone who doesn’t play: “For a limited time only, get a 7-day Renown Booster.” Cool, what do they boost, what are they, and why is this worth it? It was only after finding a wiki that stated, “Renown is the currency…” that I drowned out. You have until the 11th of February to pick up the offer, which is available on PC and consoles.

Speaking of scummy publisher behavior I don’t condone, we have Rockstar. Players of GTA V‘s Online mode can get extra money for playing with your Prime account connected alongside a free Kosatka Submarine sonar Station and discounts on premium currency. Meanwhile, players of Red Dead Online can get their one-time sign-up bonus of $1K, a bounty hunter license, discounts on in-game items, a free off-hand holster, free revolver ammo, and a bounty wagon livery (with requirements met). Both offers are available to all platforms each game has been released onto.

Still, until the 31st of March, Prime subscribers can pick-up the SNK bundle. It is filled with many arcade and console classics, and you can pick up everything including: The SNK 40th Anniversary Collection, Metal Slug, The King of Fighters, the Samurai Shodown series, and more. I’ll be honest, I’ll be happy to see the back of this one too.

Might as well cover what I have given up trying to cover regularly while Amazon didn’t bother to keep up their part of the deal. You have until the 12th of February to pick up something called Cyber Hook; A game that looks like it fell backward out of a Tron Unity asset pack. You have until the 19th of February to pick up Algo Bot; A logic puzzle game akin to Automachef but with a bit more of that Exapunks and Infinifactory-thing. In the same vein with some management, on the 26th Little Big Workshop will leave; a game about a workshop that you manage, build, and code to perfection.

For the month’s games let’s start with the back end and work our way to something that might be worth the investment. Swimsanity! is an online multiplayer shooter set underwater (of course) where you fight off everything from massive sharks to whales or mechanical turtles. There is nothing wrong with it from what I know, but once again I am looking at that and other things available to play and I’m never going to get around to it. Maybe I am looking at it with a perspective of great privilege, but that’s all I can give you and if you’re subscribing to Prime you have a bit of that privilege too.

Spinch, how a dyslexic spells spinach, but it is also that game Mike wrote a review on back in September. In that review, he cites that the game is beautifully colorful and visually appealing from the outset, which would be hard to disagree with. Though, he also notes the game is frustrating due to the checkpoints along with bosses being notably vexing. Of course, I can only speak of this second-hand experience, for more you should check out Mike’s review for more detail on his opinion. It could be one of the month’s highlights, believe it or not.

Stealth Bastard Deluxe is a game that if you’ve been around for a while has appeared several times now. An indie stealth ’em-up puzzle game that released back in 2012, I’ve always had this on my list since it first appeared on Prime a long while ago. However, much like Swimsanity! I just find everything else under the sun to distract me.

Table Manners: Physics-Based Dating Game, as it is titled on Steam, is that Surgeon Simulator-style game where you have a disembodied hand floating about the place. However, unlike the funny situation of performing heart surgery on some unlucky idiot in space, you are some unlucky idiot trying to fall in love through Grindr. Hijinks ensue and suddenly you have committed a social faux pas while trying to date the queen of the Xaheans. Don’t worry, we all do it.

Finally, it is the dating sim about going to a prom full of monsters, but that would be too long to shout in a crisis, so I am just going to call it Fred. Monster Prom is a dating sim where you need to find a date for the prom… which is in three weeks. Again, hijinks, silliness, and all manner of weirdness ensue. Unlike Table Manners I know I like the people behind because it is Jesse Cox, and Jesse Cox is brilliant. Starting today you’ll be able to pick up Monster Prom: Hotseat Edition with your Prime subscription.