Dandara Is Free On The Epic Games Store

Monday I wasn’t the first one to do an article! Mike covered a funeral for a friend; though I did later talk about pooing myself atop an ambulance and Dying Light 2‘s Collector’s Edition, and Alexx spoke about hamsters stuck in traps creating demos (or something just as confusing). Tuesday, I spoke about Celeste because I adore Madeline, Taylor went on to note Konami did nothing interesting, and I wrote about the news for more Netflix-based Witcher. Wednesday, Alexx Kickstarted a human invasion that took my neighbors, and I later spoke of Monster Hunter: Furry Edition.

Right, can I now moan about a game from the Epic Games Store? I think I can. You see, I think last week playing lots of Galactic Civilization III spoiled me: I played something I really like and I understood what it wanted from me. Dandara: Trials of Fear Edition is not that. Sure, every time I say the name either aloud or in my head, I break into song: “Imperial March,” The Indiana Jones theme, or the Bond theme. The name fits so well into those choruses with such perfection to yell at two in the morning; my neighbors loved me.

Being serious for a minute, I don’t actually like Dandara. Yes, it is very pretty and does something different, but I simply don’t like what it does in the first place. Imaging a side-scrolling twin-stick shooter that has you sticking to the walls. If that sounds exciting to you, call a mental health professional, you need it.

That’s exactly what Dandara does (sticky walls, not getting help), and it is ridiculously slow and tedious; only made worse by any desire to do a bit of combat. I am glad the game does use a bit of auto-aim to stick to platforms, so once you’ve understood how to move, you can do so swiftly and with purpose. However, it is one of those situations where you need preordained knowledge of where those platforms are.

The combat (as it were) is just as bad, if not worse. It takes a few seconds to load up every shot, assuming you know where to aim. If you miss you need to go through it several times over. The opening section has several puzzle-like jugs that will kill you if you touch them, but if you are platforming too quickly, you’ll hit them and lose a life. So now you are slowly platforming around, to slowly load up a shot, and to slowly platform ahead in the event you have to shoot more of these jugs/pots/jars. Can you see why I am a bit miffed? I don’t mind pacing, but when it is stop-start-stop-start, I get a bit too annoyed.

In the end, I don’t think much of Dandara: Trials of Fear Edition. It is available on the Epic Games Store until the 4th of February. The problem is that, if memory serves me right, I didn’t think too much of For the King either; The game that becomes the free game available for those that didn’t pick it up the last time it was free. I can’t wait to not be bothered by it, again.