Oh, there are many lines here I am ready to shout about with anger, “England, for the English,” “Donna Noble, you’re the most important woman in the whole of creation,” and so on. Last time in “Midnight,” we spoke of our human ability to be our own worst enemy. Our tendency to turn on humanity, to turn on anything that is other, to turn on ourselves. This is that feeling exemplified, in the greatest time of need, a point in time and space where unity is most needed; Britain turns to “labor camps” for the others. It’s like having Nigel Farage work on space policy. I’d rather eat the contents of my cat’s litter tray, if I’m quite honest.

“Turn Left” is one of those polarizing episodes of Doctor Who, at least it seems that way with the outpouring of love it received earlier this year. Heralded as Donna’s defining moment, it is Clara without the entire three series of awful writing. “I’m just a temp,” exactly! She’s just a normal boring human, the same as Clara Oswin/Oswald and Michael Burnham. Stop with this self-aggrandizing lubricated self-fellating tosh. It doesn’t make you a clever writer discovering a profound higher understanding of your life, you are just a useless hack. Hold on, did Chris Chibnall write this one?

To put it nicely for Davies, as those two paragraphs were hard enough without swearing, it is not a bad episode. I just have this strong hatred towards making a character the most-special human that has ever lived and could never be topped by, say… an alien with two hearts, a time machine, and a magic screwdriver that even works on wood. So many useless plods want to make the companion a shining beacon of magnificence, leaking light from their genitals every time they go for a wazz. Don’t! We already have that, so we need a character to ground the special one so he/she/they can care with their two hearts (hear that Capaldi?).

I don’t know why I am even talking about him; he goes and bloody well in this one. The type of thing that causes the world, the entire universe from a single moment forward, drops into a dystopian nightmare. It’s suggested that the question being asked is, “does the Doctor cause the deaths or prevent them?” You’d have to be stupid to think he’s the reason people die and that is it, the end of the discussion. Yes, people die, companions die, friends and enemies die, beings end up dead, but that’s life. The better question to be posed in that sense is, should the Doctor feel guilt for his extended life(s) and the friends he’s put in harm’s way? Not, “is he the cause?” It is simple, he stops them. He has stopped wars and he (at the very least) tries to stop the killing.

Oh, but Donna needs to hear that she’s special! Why? So our stupid little X-Factor watching brains can say, “I can do anything!” No, no you can’t, and you can’t sing either. You sound like a dying whale getting stabbed in the anus. I like the little moments of showcasing the previous specials and noted points in history that the Doctor wasn’t there to protect the earth from. However, I don’t like this “you’re special” nonsense for Donna’s mundane decision and suddenly she’s the reason the world is safe. What did she do? She told him to stop being an idiot in “The Runaway Bride.” Something anyone could have done.

Again, I don’t dislike the episode. I abhor this mentality of hoisting a character above what they are. I actually quite like the dystopian themes, no matter how much Wilfred’s line “Labour camps. That’s what they called them last time,” makes me uncomfortable. What makes that a lot worse is Donna’s blind stupidity to what he’s referencing: Nazis, Auschwitz, removing the “other” from society and making “England, for the English.” It is exposition, but that’s not what is boiling my blood, it is just how well the scene works. It is pulled together by the sexy beast that is Bernard Cribbins along with Joseph Long as two old men with a mutual understanding.

Oh, and Rose is back to tell Donna all this nonsense that’s she’s special. That and she’s the only companion that survived the world without a Doctor: Martha and Sarah Jane die thanks to a Judoon platoon on the Moon, Captain Jack is on the Sontaran homeworld while Gwen and Ianto died (Good riddance Torchwood!). The Titanic from the best Christmas special (don’t @ me!) crashes and nukes Liz’s house, now London is a dump. I mean, it has always been a dump, but a special one that you can enjoy from time to time.

Speaking of returns, Chipo Chung returns without blue makeup and Derek Jacobi. I said it before; I loved Chan-Tho for being a bit different, and Chung just brings roles (even minor ones) some life. Though, while I am talking about performances, Bernard Cribbins once again makes Wilfred the best old man. From the livingroom sing-song to that cheeky little look at Donna as she’s angry, there’s no one else who could make him such a lovely character. I’d set fire to Sylvia in a heartbeat. I don’t like Donna, but Sylvia is just an awful mother full of bitterness and contempt towards anything that anyone does.

As I’ve said, alone and putting aside the “You are special” nonsense, it is a brilliantly dark and unsettling dystopia continuing Midnight’s themes of humanity turning on itself in a moment. I really hope Rose didn’t whisper anything into Donna’s ear, like two words that might showcase the coming end to the universe, something like “Bad Wolf?” Next time we’ll be talking about part 2 and 3 of this story with a Doctor’s death, two Doctors in two universes, and the last normal episode of Doctor Who before it came back in 2010 with someone I didn’t like.

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Doctor Who "Turn Left"

7

Score

7.0/10

Pros

• Deeply disturbing dystopian themes.
• Cribbins is the best bit of Donna's era. FACT!
• I do love a bit of Rose from time to time.
• First appearence of Erisa Magambo.

Cons

• A focus on making Donna so special.