Can we make this a three-way battle? Epic Games vs. Apple Inc. vs. the people’s interest in the trivial nonsense of businesses trying to beget the other for preferred practices. The former two are playing out like a really crap episode of Jude Judy. Instead of a proper good punch up in the court, we’re just getting the tame name-calling from across the aisle. The last of which is being pulled out the back to be shot like the champion racehorse with the bum leg. Although a few days, weeks, months, or years ago (2020 knows no time) Apple and Epic found an agreement within themselves on how they want their May 2021 trial to be held, it is still bitter.

To give you a brief rundown: Epic updated their popular Battle Royale to privately now give them extra cheese. This was a way to take some from the big mouse (Apple) that Epic decided was being greedy. The mouse kicked back on this subterfuge of them getting their profits cut by removing the game from their store, which prompted Epic to file a lawsuit and start a marketing campaign. The problem with the campaign and lawsuit was the fact they were clearly prepared days or even weeks in advance. Epic knew what it was doing, which is more than I can say with the Pulp Fiction reference. Epic has continued on as if it is the wronged party and the one fighting for the common person. In reality, they are also a billion-dollar company.

That brings us up-to-date with the catalog of stupid things Epic is willing to do so companies can claim, “We’ll pass the savings onto you!” Now, Epic boss and everyone’s boring dad that spends too much time in the basement painting model planes, Tim Sweeney, has had an interview with Australia’s Sydney Morning Herald. In the interview, Sweeney notes of the supposed laws Apple is breaking in the land down under.

“It’s another set of laws under which Apple’s practices are clearly in violation. And another chance to get this issue really th[o]roughly examined,” Sweeney said. He continued with, “And also there’s a really big and growing mobile software industry in Australia, a lot of great game developers, and they all suffer dearly by Apple and Google’s 30 percent tax. I doubt there’s a single developer in Australia who makes more profit from their own games [than] Apple and Google make from their games.” Yes, if you forgot, Epic is also taking on Google. However, most like to focus on the Apple side for the interest angle.

I won’t pretend to know Australian law, mostly because if I were a lawyer, I’d the very boring kind to call out both parties on their stupidity. In short, this legal battle in Australia is one that is based on the country’s consumer rights and business practices. That arena is where each company should be able to fairly fight one another for consumers. What Sweeney and his company seem to desire out of this is for Apple and Google to give up their storefront dominance, which just isn’t going to happen. You could ask the M&M store in Time Square to cut their store in half to give Joan’s Muffs, a hipster muffin place, some prime real estate. Yet that doesn’t mean it is gonna happen!

However, that’s not to say I disagree. Sweeney went on to say, “Apple is essentially using its control of the hardware to force all commerce to go through them, against the will of developers and also against the will of consumers. What’s happening in the tech industry is really destructive. It needs to change rather fast.” Between Apple and Android (based on Google developed software), it is not just Australia affected here. Along with the better part of the world, they are going through either Google’s Play Store or Apple’s App Store. If either wanted to change they’d have done it by now, and they aren’t because it is affecting their bottom line.

Sure, Epic is smashing the screen with the big apple on it, but it is just for noise. That’s all this is, an attempt to pull everyone to their model either by providing users with another storefront to bicker over or via lawsuits to bore you to death. Epic was quick with their marketing, because they knew who played in their mobile section. They knew it was a young and angry audience would smell blood. That’s all this is, Epic’s attempt to drag everyone to their system via mob rule. 

Instead of playing the long game and letting people decide with their wallets, Epic used a tool of holding their game hostage. If Epic honestly wanted change, they could have just removed their game from the storefronts themselves. They didn’t because they wanted this show, this stupid game being played to have children yelling that they want their game back. Of course, it is more than children/teenagers, but they are the vocal ones Epic aimed to get riled up by this.

Go read the full interview on the Epic Games vs Apple Inc. Australia case over on the Sydney Morning Herald’s site for the full details. While I agree with Sweeney that the developers deserve their cut, Epic is going about this with guerilla warfare and (metaphorical) explosions. Instead, there could just be a long discussion on what consumers actually want from a storefront. Maybe, we could act like civilized humans instead of angry crying children with our game being ripped from our hands.

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