One of the standout gaming experiences of my childhood was playing Destroy All Humans! on the PS2 back in 2005. I’ve been gaming since I was 3 years old, in one form or another, and the Destroy All Humans! franchise easily ranks in my list of most unique, memorable experiences in my childhood. Because of that, the new enhanced remake of the first game in the franchise simply called Destroy All Humans! excited me greatly when it was announced, and Locomotive Games has not disappointed.

I’ve seen a lot of publications and people have mixed messages in regards to what this game actually is. It isn’t really a reboot of the franchise or a new entry. It is a fully remade version of the first game, with enhancements, a few additions, and restored content cut from the original game. It is more than a simple remake, but it also isn’t entirely a reboot either.

Before I get too deep into what is new in Destroy All Humans!, let’s talk about what the game is actually about for the uninitiated. Destroy All Humans! puts you in the role of Cryptosporidium 137, known from here on as Crypto. He is a member of the Furon race, an alien race that has survived for millennia due to cloning themselves. He is accompanied by Orthopox (Pox) 13, who tells him that the Furon race is dying, due to cellular degeneration after being cloned too many times. In order to combat this, he sends Crypto to Earth to harvest Furon DNA from humans.

Humans in this alternate reality were implanted millennia ago with Furon DNA and now have the purest form of it left in the galaxy. Crypto’s predecessor (Cryptosporidium-136) crash-landed on Earth after being asked to do the same job. Pox instructs Crypto to find his predecessor (alive or dead) and finish what he started. They plan to use humans to farm Furon DNA and if they resist, destroy them all.

What ensues is a devilishly fun jaunt where you get to play a crass, irreverent, shameless villain protagonist. You play Crypto as you abduct, probe, mind control, and do all manner of other things to humans in your path. Crypto is equipped with multiple guns such as the Zap-O-Matic which electrocutes enemies, the Disintegrator Ray which does exactly what you’d expect, and Ion Detonators which serve as grenades that destroy a large radius.

There are plenty more guns in Crypto’s arsenal, along with Psychokinetic abilities and the use of his Flying Saucer, which has its own loadout of weapons and tools of destruction. Unlike the original game, the developers of Locomotive Games have added full upgrade trees to everything in your arsenal. The original game had 18 upgrades you could acquire over the course of the game, while the remake has 66 upgrades total.

In addition, Crypto can now multitask, shooting his weapon while he throws objects with psychokinesis, or use his powers to extract brains while killing other enemies. Brains give you DNA and work as your upgrade currency. You also get DNA for beating each mission and if you fulfill the bonus objectives in the mission, you get even more DNA.

The missions are varied and can range from destroying enemies to using stealth via stealing a human’s appearance using Crypto’s Holobob ability to stealthily infiltrate areas. You’ll need to read human minds often to gather intel and the mind-reading offers all sorts of humorous anecdotes from the humans. A lot of people could probably discuss how timely the themes presented in Destroy All Humans!’ 1940’s-era world can be, with mentions of “commies’ and foreign invasion. However, that’s a discussion for another day because, honestly, the goal of the game is to be as bad as you can be and put the Earth under the Furon Empire’s heel. You are the invader and you will bend the humans to your will.

Locomotive Games did a fantastic job enhancing Crypto’s abilities in ways that make sense, such as giving him the option to transmogrify objects in order to collect ammo. They also made the mobility aspect of the game much more fluid. Crypto now has a dash ability in addition to his jetpack, and once you upgrade it, he can skate around on the air and do all manner of things.

The movement and gameplay are even smoother than I remember the original being and I have fond (nostalgia-tinted) memories of it feeling very responsive and smooth. You feel like an advanced alien threat and movement is fluid, easy to control, and intuitive. This is especially useful outside of missions, exploring various areas to acquire more DNA for upgrades.

After completing missions, you can explore each level in a sandbox-style and do various challenges. There are races, Armageddon challenges that ask you to cause large amounts of property damage, abduction challenges, and more. In addition, each of the sandbox levels allows you to collect Furon Probes, which give you DNA for each one you acquire. They’re hidden all over the levels and are a fun way for you to get the most out of exploring and immersing yourself in each level.

Between levels, you also get to see newspaper clippings that give more information on how the government is reacting to the things Crypto does in story missions. Some of them are downright hilarious, while others give you hints as to what you’ll be doing next. Locomotive Games put a lot of love and attention into every aspect of Destroy All Humans! and its art direction.

I have a few complaints, but most of them were complaints present in the original game, such as certain missions being unfair at times. However, since this was a recreation and things weren’t really changed so much as being expanded upon, I can’t complain too much there. My one major complaint comes from something I never knew I would have wanted.

Destroy All Humans! doesn’t have a large map of each level. There is a minimap that shows you where your objective is, as well as a few other useful things. However, exploring the levels can be somewhat difficult when you don’t have an idea of where in the level you are. This is especially the case when you’ve already explored a level before and you’re not sure what parts you have missed.

An overworld map would be a fantastic help for finding all the probes, but then again, the levels aren’t as big as they could be. However, it is also important to note that this version has an entire mission that was cut from the original game, known as The Lost Mission. That’s even more Furon content for you!

In truth though, Destroy All Humans! brings me back in the best ways possible. It plays well, the controls are solid and smooth, and it feels good to play. There are a few minor bugs, such as when a military vehicle spawned halfway inside a building, and soldiers were just falling out of it onto the ground. It was a hilarious bug and I haven’t had it happen since, but I laughed for a good twenty minutes over the ridiculousness of it.

If you loved the Destroy All Humans! franchise already, then this is going to be right up your alley. If you never got to play the original games, I can’t recommend it enough. It is good (not so clean) fun. It is also a fantastic stress reliever. Mad at your boss? Destroy some humans! Spouse getting ya down? Get to probing!

On a serious note, Locomotive Games did a fantastic job, and I hope we see Destroy All Humans 2 and Destroy All Humans: Path of the Furon get the same treatment. This is exactly what I needed during a hellacious 2020 and you’ll feel better after you get your Furon on.

A PlayStation 4 review copy of Destroy All Humans! was provided by THQ Nordic for this review.

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Destroy All Humans!

$59.99 USD

9.5

Score

9.5/10

Pros

• Hilarious Characters
• Smooth Mobility
• Restored "Cut" Content
• Lots of Ways to Play
• Fun Challenges and Levels

Cons

• Minor Bugs
• No Exploration Map
• Occasionally Unfair Levels