In a shocking turn of events, when we’ve had editorials and reviews falling out our ears, we still haven’t covered the most revealing news in weeks. Monday, I spoke about Mad Tracks being added to Twitch Prime, and Taylor spoke about a game that’s been more than an open secret for about a year. Wednesday, Dmitry spoke about Baldur’s Gate 3‘s possible release window. Then on Thursday, Taylor spoke about a teaser for Halo, that is coming later this year. The week was a bit uneventful if you don’t cover the copious amounts of sexual misconduct and abuse claims.

So now we discuss the Epic Games Store, and yet another double-bill. Though unlike last week it really is a double-bill as advertised. First off was Stranger Things 3: The Game, and it would be unfair to say you should listen to my opinion on this one, at least alone. Linked above is Lisa’s review from last year. What is about to follow is everyone telling people to watch a show even if they know they won’t like it because they’ve seen it already. Yes, Stranger Things is a show about children being tormented by the fact that Netflix wants to make money, and the viewing public just laps up the semi-emotional dialogue that’s drier than the sex life of anyone that had a kid in the 80s.

It is one of those shows that rose to popularity on the back of nostalgia for a time when racism wasn’t acknowledged. Kids were horrible little monsters with nothing redeemable about them, and something else as I’m sure you’ve skipped ahead already. In short, Stranger Things 3: The Game is for anyone who likes a show with nothing but bland nostalgia masqueraded as horror with depth because it has children in it. CGI monsters aside, the show never liked hiring a bit of light; including the Sun, the most natural of light. Luckily the game doesn’t have to worry about lighting for the digital effects department, so it is at least a bit colorful.

If you want a showroom of characters you know paraded in locations you know from a TV show, Stranger Things 3: The Game is for you. Otherwise, I don’t think it will get you into the show.

Next up is AER: Memories of Old, which has the worst spelling of air I’ve seen since I tried to spell it with forty-seven letters, most of them being the letter U. Really it is a game about exploration while serene music plays in the background. It also has writing that often puts me to sleep as they talk about “the great divide,” “ancients,” and “cataclysm,” the last being ruined by EA. Though, while we’re on comparisons, we now know where Ashen got its faceless characters from, as our lead Nearly Headless Nicola is faceless. The entire art style gives enough to distinguish what something is, but lacks detail.

The gameplay isn’t much to write home about either. In fact, I’d liken it to Grow Home and Grow Up, as you go from one floating island to the next, exploring the nothing of great value on them. Is it bad? Much like Stranger Things 3, no it is not. Both just have a focus on the story, while gameplay is established but never grows much beyond where it began.

Both AER: Memories of Old and Stranger Things 3: The Game are both available for free on the Epic Games Store until the 2nd of July. On July 2nd, both will be switched out for another double-bill. Conan Exiles, a survival MMO with a single player mode that I’m not touching with a 10ft bargepole, along with Hue, a Metroidvania all about the hue (or color) missing in the world. Lastly, Epic has provided an update on The Escapists 2, and are trying to fix the issue causing it to be pulled from last week’s lineup.

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