Well, this will be interesting. You see, everyone on this planet has either already played Final Fantasy 7 enough times that they have rubbed themselves dry before getting to the end of the title, or they are the friend who’s being bugged to play it now. My point is, on my walk into work this morning I was stopped seventy-two times by Final Fantasy 7 fans, and my walk to work is only a 20-foot walk down the hallway into my office. In all seriousness, Final Fantasy fans are ravenous in their worship for the game. So as the only one in existence that hasn’t played the original, let’s point out the glaring issue.

That issue is how I’ve been swept up in this excitement for the remake of that game that as far as I knew was “YAY! Terrorism!” Of course, it’s not the terrorism you’d hear about on the news, mostly because it’s a group of principally white people, but terrorism none the less. For the most part, I was content with never playing the game; dyslexia and my loathing of slow turn-based combat outside of handheld circles pushed it out of my reach. I had other games to play as a child. Now 23 years later, we’re doing this dance again.

I should state, by no means is this a full game review of the deified mammoth that is Final Fantasy VII or 7, depending on your preference of formatting. I’d rather talk about what I was expecting and what has come from my very short time with the game so far. The issue with that is how little I feel for it all, how little context I have for evil Lord Business who runs the power plant you blow up in the beginning. Why should care about a man called Cloud Strife, and why Tifa wasn’t the first female character on screen? Yes, I’m entirely here for Tifa, but unlike those with body pillows of her, I care because of an Actress from GLOW plays her this time around.

Instead of the overwhelming excitement that my colleagues are probably having at this minute, I just felt a little empty. Alexx, one of the biggest Final Fantasy fans I know, and I have spoken for months about the game. There is clear excitement from fans to see the world and characters fully realized with the glitz and glamour of 2020, but as someone without that knowledge, that experience of playing the 1997 release and this, I’m left with nothing that fills the expectations. For the most part, it is an update in every sense of the word.

However, as a newcomer to not only the game but for the most part, the franchise, it is what I feel I should expect. The combat is a bit different, I’ll admit that much from Final Fantasy XV or as I like to call it, “The big gay adventure.” The thing is, every other third-person game does combat just the same or better. The closest comparison I have for the combat seems to be Kingdom Hearts, a series I don’t care for as I mostly hate menu-based semi-real-time combat systems; The step between turn-based and real-time. For those that know that hatred, it might shock you to know how much I enjoyed the combat for the most part.

I still find it utterly infuriating to even slightly work with the menu, and switching characters during that first boss battle was a bit annoying. However, after a few quick selects and a few further hours practicing switches, I might not have that abhorrence I did when first asked to. For the most part, I don’t think it is something to complain about for too long. Nevertheless, the “normal” mode and “classic” mode don’t do enough to differentiate in my opinion. The latter only drops the difficulty and auto-attacks so people who prefer to play with the menu can do so.

While we’re on the problems I have, which are like flicking droplets of water at a plant, why is everything so over-designed? Barrett, Heidegger, and everything has seventeen extra buttons, three extra straps, and hair is perfectly gelled or perfectly pulled out of bandanas. They look less like characters who’ve slept, eaten, and lived a life, and more like that perfect Instagram picture that’s taken after many moments of self-judgment and self-loathing. It’s not a lack of realism, but a lack of subtlety to make me believe the world I’m in.

I expect giant scorpion bots, I expect tiny turrets that need to be taken down, and I expect evil Lord Business to be mustache-twirling. That notwithstanding, I can’t help but feel all the pomp and circumstance is aimed squarely at established fans. I wouldn’t take away their enjoyment, and I’m not calling for it to; However, the point of remakes and updated mechanics is not only to please established fans, but give new players a chance of getting into a series that’s already established and widely accepted. It’s a little hard to say I, a newcomer to the game and story, will be as gripped as others.

As I’ve said, I might be flicking droplets of water at the enormous metaphorical plant that is the Final Fantasy VII fan-base. However, that almighty hype that I and some other may have been dragged along in, isn’t being filled. There’s enough to say, “this is enjoyable, this is good,” but it is, to use another metaphor, being promised the world and being given a pebble. Final Fantasy VII isn’t a disappointment, but the build that some have given it makes the second coming on the baby Jesús pale in comparison.

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