If there are two things I’ve been hard on in the year we’ve been published, it has been loot boxes and the Australian nanny state that bans games. However, today might just be one of those days I praise the nanny state for working in the interest of people and not comedically joyless husks of the human race. I mean, I would if they weren’t also trying to tack on something ineffective that the UK had been putting in place for years.

The “Protecting The Age of Innocence report” is a 130-page document that outlines the recommendations to be taken to, surprise surprise, protect little Timmy from things on the internet. In a very short opinion: If a parent wants to protect their child from X content or not have them learn behavior from X content, the parent is the one responsible for that. As for the recommendations outlined for loot boxes, these are a little less about so-called innocence and recognizing that when people are spending their life savings, it might be time to step in.

It’s recommendation 5 that’s the most prominent to loot boxes; with the committee recommending: “the Office of the eSafety Commissioner or other relevant government department report to the Australian Government on options for restricting access to loot boxes and other simulated gambling elements in computer and video games to adults aged 18 years or over, including through the use of mandatory age verification.” This being the crux of the entire report, lots and lots of age gating systems. Something that depending on the implementation can be circumnavigated easily.

A majority of the report is consolidated into the phrase, “Porn is bad” 255 times over and over again. Meanwhile, video games and loot boxes are topping out in the document at 35 mentions. The only other point that peaks into gaming is online gambling; often peddled under the idea that video games and online casinos are one in the same. In the case of random chance, such as loot boxes and microtransactions, that can apply, though that is not all video games or games with microtransactions.

Though the committee does suggest that the government expand the Digital Transformation Agency’s ability to introduce an age-verification program for third parties. One member likens this to the purchase products online and the two-step verification process, that’s a man who has probably bought products from a kinky website of late. In other parts of the report, it is recommended that there be clear warnings on video games with loot boxes and such content. Another advises that any restriction of content be done in conjunction with the industry. Of all the suggestions, these are the two most sensible of the entire report.

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