Well, I’ve had some kind of week since I last did one of these, first getting back my beloved Picard, and Hugh Laurie being a sweary captain. Though I think I’ll do as I did last week, recounting the news to begin with. That was another weird one as we covered the RuneScape lawsuit over being “muted,” to which we tried getting in contact with the man in the case, we’ve not heard back. Final Fantasy VII Remake pre-orders are at risk for some. Resident Evil 8 could have been leaked. Then, just yesterday Dari covered what Edmund McMillen is working on.

So, let’s get to this week’s Epic Games Store game for the week: Farming Simulator 19. The issue with that is trying to talk about what I did in it or what it is about, to quote the Ronseal ad from the 90s, “It does exactly what it says on the tin.” I don’t think anyone would be coming into this one thinking that it would be a gritty World War 1 shooter about the horrors of war and the desperate nature of the human condition as one is used as a pawn. Mostly because no developer that wants to make all the money will make that game, and because the game is about farming.

I’ll be honest, I’ve never understood the desire to slowly drive as you harvest something that’s taken a lifetime to grow. If I wanted something this slow I’d have been playing a board game or some kind of turn-based strategy. That’s why I’ve spent the couple of hours I had with Farming Simulator 19 making my own entertainment. I did so by singing songs by The Wurzels and doing stupid things. I will say, harvesting crops reminds me of something from one of the greatest games of all time, Bully (Canis Canem Edit) and it’s lawnmower punishment. Though if we’re truthful, it was never a punishment as long as you drew a penis.

Shut up, I’m very mature. That’s why I imagined an old woman asking what the aliens did to the field of wheat this time, I’d tell her a penis, and she’s now the mad one in the town. I think that’s a very mature thing to do, as Mildred (the woman in my head) was spending her time running through my field of wheat with her friend Theresa since July last year.

Yes, this week’s free game on the Epic Games store is Giants Software GmbH’s Farming Simulator 19, and is only available until the 6th of February. Though I have a feeling I’ll be partly repeating myself next week when I talk about things being a little slow and wanting to play a board game, or rather another one called Monopoly. Next week’s three free games are Carcassonne, Ticket To Ride, and Pandemic.

In other news, we started up our YouTube channel with David taking the first two videos. The first is on his Game of the Year pick Mortal Kombat 11, and the second is on the fun space rogue-lite/rogue-like FTL: Faster Than Light.

EDITOR’S NOTE: As a result of recent events, Asmodee Digital’s Pandemic has been removed from the store and will not be a part of next week’s three free games.

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