(Warning: Under our site’s rules we do not allow profanity or swearing of any kind. That makes the review of a book with a very strong expletive in the title hard to write about. The article title is the only reference to this expletive in the name of this Sunday Times Bestselling book. I will instead use the subtitle.)
Now that I’ve got the required warning out of the way, I can talk about how hard it is to find a book with this title. It’s not in the book sections of local stores. There wasn’t a store with it for at least two miles; and when I asked the lovely ladies of the Waterstones if they had it, they didn’t and were so happy I didn’t say in a hushed tone “Do you have some pornography?” next to the kid’s section. Book shops; much like libraries, are very quiet. Luckily they had a copy further away that could be delivered. However, for some reason, they had several books with David Cameron’s face. I’ve no idea why, but that’s more offensive than an expletive.
Then there is the cruel joke that is me; an idiot that rambles on the internet, and a dyslexic. Yeah, strap yourself in, a book review by a dyslexic would be like a blind art critic or a politician who can’t lie. I’m not saying it is impossible; it is just a cruel twist of fate spun by the darkest comedic mind. That being said, Daniel Hardcastle’s autobiography through the lens of video games happens to my fastest read (about three days). Aside from Death Note, but that’s mostly pictures and a teenager thinking he’s a god.
“As Daniel Hardcastle careers towards thirty, he looks back on what has really made him happy in life: the friends, the romance… the video games.”
As one would expect with an autobiography, the book mostly covers one topic, Daniel “Nerdcubed” Hardcastle. However, unlike the typical novelization of a comedian, idiot on the internet, or actor’s life; there is both the first-person perspective and third, with video games being the latter. It also helps that he wrote it, unlike some other YouTubers. Almost every chapter has a video game attached, with a story connected in some way. Not every game gets a detailed factual description, though the real-life stories always tie-in to the inexplicably weird world of games.
There are a few chapters where there is no individual game to speak about though. The first of which is the foreword; written by Tim Schafer (Of Double Fine), and it’s about him pooing. I’m not joking. It’s not directly about it, but it’s about his pooing habits and the lack of interruption thereof. Then there are a few sections recounting hardware, with a guest section by a tat collector and Simon Pegg look-alike writing about Atari (tat makers). Each is referred to as a “Hardware History” of each company; and is possibly the weakest point of the life stories of Dan, but still interesting. With a single chapter about the brilliance and weirdness of Double Fine.
Now that the boring factual nonsense out is out the way, I love the book. I was always going to; if it showed up with dead spiders crushed on to every page, I’d probably still like it. I’d have to get the spider guts off, and probably get a second copy after the first became cinders from the fire. I’d still love it because it is my stupid style of writing. Every detail is written to be funny first, not factual; at least I hope so with all the children left to die.
As I’ve already referred to, the book bounces between the perspectives of a story Dan wants to tell about his own life; such as the Tomb Raider III chapter, and the stories about something that happened in a game. The latter of which is exemplified by the chapters about The Sims, Watch_Dogs 2, and Ride to Hell: Retribution. The words “exemplified,” and “Ride to Hell: Retribution” shall never be used again unless it is in this sentence: “Ride to Hell: Retribution exemplified the video game equivalent of eating bat smegma.”
Is there anything critically I can say against it? Not really. It is the most crowdfunded book in UK history, making it a huge success for Unbound, Dan, and Rebecca (illustrator). Any criticism I have would be like a remote-controlled fly sent to attack the International Space Station. That’s the plot of the next C.O.D, I’m telling you. This is why it is hard to say that the “Hardware History” sections are the least interesting. They aren’t bad; however, in comparison to near-death experiences, tales of playing Bloodborne as an arachnophobe, and kicking a child in the face; they are restrained from the hilarity of other chapters.
As someone who loves to look at the weird parts of the video game industry and their mistakes (the Virtual Boy), they are great. They are like humorous little history lessons about the big black VCR that played your favorite games that you probably don’t own anymore. Conversely, they also have some of the pieces you’ve probably never heard of and will never find in real life. What is a Wii U anyway? No journalist will ever know.
Other than Dan’s stories of being at university and becoming his own legend in Skyrim, there’s one other piece of this strange and wonderful book I’ve not spoken about. Illustrator, Rebecca Maughan (also Dan’s wife), perfectly accentuates every story with an art piece at the start and end of each one of the chapters. From the beautiful piece for each console in the hardware histories, the full page of brilliance that is Dan as GLaDOS, and the exceptional detail on the Leviathan Axe at the end of the God of War chapter. Now my thesaurus has run out of words to explain just how sumptuous the art is.
If you are a fan of Daniel’s, then I’m sure you’ve already got the book or just happen to be waiting for it to release in your country. That kind of makes a review by an idiot on the internet pointless. The thing is, I wouldn’t say the book is too difficult to read without the knowledge of who Dan is. The book is a love letter to video games, which would make reading some of the outlandish stories about the summer camp Dan worked at in his late teens funnier. Moreover, the university story may be relatable; I wouldn’t know, I don’t like buildings that worship education or gods.
That said, being the massive nerd I am with my own love of games. Each chapter feels like it was written specifically for me. Through the entire book, there may be only two games I’d run away from while holding out a stick with poo on the end to hold them off: Ride to Hell and Fortnite. Of the consoles, the Virtual Boy is the only one that also gets that honor.
In conclusion, I highly recommend picking up Daniel Hardcastle’s autobiography The Life and Extra Lives of a Professional Nerd. To some, it might look like a silly little book for teenagers and young adults who like a YouTuber, but I don’t think there’s another out there who could write a book that will make you laugh and slightly cry. The after-afterword being gut-wrenching, and every chapter before it being side-splittingly hilarious. I personally can not wait for his second book, The Paradox Paradox; a dark Sci-fi story, next. Which, of course, is already funded.
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