From time to time, I like to take the opportunity to showcase certain lesser-known games present within my Steam library for a variety of reasons. Most of the time, I elect to review games which fit that description because I simply believe they deserve some time in the spotlight that they might not have gotten when they initially released.

However, to be completely honest, I readily admit that there have been numerous instances in which I’ve found myself particularly pressed for time and/or drained of energy, and consequently in search of a less-complex game I could thoroughly review relatively quickly. The game I’ll be discussing today happens to fall into both of these categories.

Thankfully, since I recently completely reorganized my entire game collection via the newly-unveiled redesign of Steam’s library system, I’m able to find games that I deem suitable to review more easily and efficiently than ever before.

As a direct result of that, I rediscovered a certain game I’ve owned for several years and thoroughly enjoy whenever I return to it for any length of time. Thus, I concluded it would be a perfect candidate for today’s review. The game in question is entitled Rock of Ages; it was developed by ACE Team, published by Sega, and released in September of 2011.

As you progress through the decently-long single-player campaign present within Rock of Ages, I suspect you’ll find that the game’s title is quite fitting considering its main gameplay mechanics. You see, your ultimate objective in each battle of the game is to render your opponent defenseless by steering gigantic boulders into the gates of their castle.

As you might expect, you’ll simultaneously need to do all you can to bolster your defenses so as to prevent your opponent from doing the same to you, or at least somewhat hinder their ability to do so for a short time. I’ll discuss the intricacies of this process in more detail shortly.

Although your initial goal is to destroy the gates of your enemy’s castle with your boulders, this process alone doesn’t entirely constitute victory. You don’t officially win a battle until you use the boulder with which you breached your enemy’s gates to crush your unfortunate adversary. That’s just one of many aspects of Rock of Ages that I find oddly humorous.

I would say the game’s main mechanic involving giant “siege boulders,” as I’ve taken to calling them, sufficiently represents the “rock” portion of the game’s title. You’ll find that the “ages” portion is gradually established as you progress through the campaign. By that, I mean you’ll battle various historically-important individuals within noteworthy locations throughout the story.

For example, one of the campaign’s first non-tutorial battles takes place in Thermopylae and pits you against King Leonidas of Sparta. You’ll compete against quite a few more familiar faces throughout your time with Rock of Ages, though. I should note at this point that as far as I can tell, after you defeat any given historical opponent in the story mode, you’ll unlock the ability to play as those characters outside of the single-player campaign.

Of course, each unlockable character is merely a cosmetic change and has no effect on actual gameplay as far as I’m aware; nevertheless, I think some portion of our audience might be interested in this mechanic to some extent.

Before a battle begins, you’ll be presented with a brief aerial view of the course through which you’ll have to steer your boulders to reach your enemy’s castle gates. Honestly, this mechanic has never been particularly helpful for me personally, but I do appreciate the fact that the game provides at least a momentary glimpse of the terrain you’ll have to contend with during the battle so as to potentially help you prepare.

As you might expect, these courses become increasingly tricky to navigate as you progress further within the campaign. You primarily control your boulders with a standard WASD control scheme by default, with the additional ability to make your current boulder jump via the space bar.

Exactly how a boulder as sizable as those you use as siege weapons during each battle could possibly be capable of jumping is beyond me; however, the fact that boulders can jump is actually quite useful in my experience. For example, your boulder might need to jump in order to bypass a portion of a course’s terrain, or a well-timed jump might prevent your boulder from falling off the course entirely.

Speaking of falling off a course, the frequency with which I inadvertently did exactly that became increasingly maddening as I traversed through more intricate courses. Should your boulder fall off a given course, a disembodied hand will retrieve it and place it back onto the course near its previous location.

Falling out of bounds is often the exact advantage your opponent might need to turn the tide of a battle in their favor. The process of having your boulder retrieved and placed back onto the course only takes a matter of seconds, but that small amount of time can potentially be devastating. One mistake that leads to a fall can easily spell doom for your chances of winning any given match provided your opponent is able to avoid a similar fate.

That’s precisely why you’ll need to do your best to hinder your opponent’s ability to reach and damage your gates. Assuming your enemy is capable enough to avoid falling out of bounds very often, you’ll need to do everything in your power to increase the chance of that happening, or at least slow their incoming boulder down for a few precious seconds.

You go about this by purchasing certain units which you can place in specific locations throughout each course. You start each battle with a set amount of money with which you can buy units, and you can earn more money during a match by using your boulder to destroy such things as scenery, bystanders, and your opponent’s units.

You can buy such things as towers to passively block the path of your opponent’s boulder, or units that actively attempt to throw your opponent off the course. For example, one of the first units to which you have access is a trained cow (yes, seriously) that will chase after your adversary’s boulder and attempt to knock it out of bounds.

Alternatively, you can use money to purchase temporary bonuses for your current boulder. These bonuses are unlocked as you progress through the campaign; to name two examples of such buffs, you can coat your boulder in spikes or set it on fire to enhance its damage. These buffs can only be applied to one boulder per battle, and they can be lost if the boulder to which they’re applied sustains a certain amount of damage before it reaches your enemy’s castle gates.

On a final note, I’ve always considered Rock of Ages to be a ridiculous game. I don’t mean to imply that the game’s ridiculousness is a bad thing by any stretch of the imagination, however. A significant reason I elected to review Rock of Ages is precisely because its gameplay and sense of humor are so outlandish and unique.

After all, I can’t think of very many other games in which Napoleon Bonaparte could conceivably bring about the demise of King Leonidas by crushing him with a giant, possibly semi-sentient boulder. At least, that’s not how the Battle of Thermopylae ended as far as I recall.

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Rock of Ages

$9.99

8.5

Score

8.5/10

Pros

• Unique, Lighthearted Sense of Humor
• Easy to Play in Short Bursts

Cons

• Certain Courses May Prove Confusing
• Considerable Difficulty Curve