I am a petty human, or at least that’s what my therapist told me before I unzipped my human suit and ate her. I’m a petty human because I sought to take out revenge on a fairly boring comment about not reviewing the multiplayer of Wreckfest. That is something I wouldn’t do if my genitals were trapped in a car door anyway. I did so with the review of Rusted Warfare – RTS and Eggs 1942, mostly single-player games about using nuclear explosions or egg puns to wipe out “them dirty reds!” That being said, there has been one instance of multiplayer I have enjoyed shooting humans.

Now, the game I’m talking about today is called Squids From Space, a fun spoof of 1950’s B-movies Americana; with isometric team-based PVP gameplay with four players on each side. “Space, B-movie, and from the 1950s? What is this? Destroy All Humans!” I hear you say; no, though they do have a special connection. The opening movie in the main menu of Squids From Space is Teenagers from Outer Space, one of the two unlockables for completing Destroy All Humans! back in 2005.

As you can see above, the gameplay is not that fancy first-person or third-person violence the online mass shooters are accustomed to. Nope, it has a nice isometric view of whatever is colorful and joyous, like Christmas or a pig farm. Now, I think you’re getting why I like this online game about team on team violence. It isn’t the grey and brown mess of Call of Duty or any of the others; it is simple and classic fun. Remember fun? That thing that’s sapped out of us every time someone pretends their play-doh people have emotions because they say so.

There isn’t even a story to get in the way or give context to the capture the flag stupidity that ensues. You play as either the squids from that one original IP that Nintendo has let slip in the last 20 years, or you play as the boring humans. In the main menu, you can customize each avatar so you can be a blue squid with a pink body and pink everything; including your vehicles. Yes, there’s none of that gritty realism with your friend D’allesandro being shot and you have to Saving Private Ryan the poor sod.

As much as I highly detest playing games with people that aren’t in the same room as me, I almost don’t want to put Squids From Space down. Then I remember the major issue with it, the length of rounds. I’ve previously stated I loved the lengthy sessions of Rusted Warfare, and that’s because there’s a big payoff in the end. When you win a round in Squids From Space it just kind of peters out.

Each game is tense as you are one button press from getting the map up to see how far away you have to run, or how close the humans are. You know where everything is at all times and when the flag is dropped there is a mad dash to protect it. The flag is your leader: A general in the case of the humans; and a squid for the squids, simple enough.

There are, of course, other modes which include destroying themed vehicles that are parked in specific locations, though capture the flag is my bread, butter, and meat. Though if you are more into a points-based game, this is the one is for you.

However, I could see some folks having an issue with the fact that the game is in early access, still. I’ve been playing now and then since the early access release back in about 2017, and not much has changed. One map has been added, optimization is somewhere between playable and then sudden crashes, and the player base is smaller than the chances of me playing the Call of Duty multiplayer without hearing a racial slur. On the day of writing, the number of players peaked at 4; in the last week, that’s peaking at 22 people on a Thursday. The overall peak during a free weekend was 39.

In conclusion, this scrappy little weirdo of a multiplayer shooter is the only one I’ve found enjoyment out of, and no one is playing it. With shorter rounds, I could see many people hopping on and play a round or two; but with some capture the flag games taking an hour, I feel exhausted by them. At just $2.99/£2.09 I don’t know why anyone pays for all the Call of Duty games every year; this is cheaper, far better, and doesn’t have all that racism.

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Squids From Space

$2.99 USD

7

Score

7.0/10

Pros

• An ace capture the flag mode.
• Dirty cheap (easier to convince friends to buy it)
• A bright and colorful shooter.

Cons

• An almost dead multiplayer game.
• Preferential to crashes and performance peaks.