I’ve already spoken about the endless love I have for management games in the piece about Two Point Hospital coming to consoles. With that being said, Steam is filled with a lot of problematic, half-baked, and underwhelming games of the management pedigree. There are games on the platform I love and adore such as Kingdoms and Castles, Dungeons 3, and SimAirport, with a myriad of others. However, for every Democracy 3 and Cook, Serve, Delicious! 2!! there are several AdVenture Capitalist, Fallout Shelter, and Wild West Saga: Idle Tycoon clicker‘s.

If you were watching YouTube videos back in 2013-14, you may have seen a game called, Game Dev Tycoon. I say this because the major influence of the game I’m reviewing today seems to be this game. I would say it is the most gamified version of what running a tech company could be like, and that’s the point of a simulation/management game, to recreate some feeling of running X company. The other reason I say this is, I have played Compute Tycoon, the Football Manager of tech simulation games. While Tech Corp. is full of numbers, management, and ways to run into a tech wall in your tech world; It does feel a bit like a joke.

First off, I want to say I kind of enjoy Tech Corp. the same way one would enjoy a clown cutting his own hand off at a five-year-old’s birthday party. It is funny for a moment then it is just a bit sad, now that his whole juggling career is gone. That and if he’d not gotten blood all over the Thomas the Tank Engine cake.

The major issue I have, much like Game Dev Tycoon, is the fake names next to real ones. Usually, when I play a tycoon/management game I’ll play the funny man and let the very serious straight man in the game make it funny. When you are hiring “Antony Loshua,” “Zmosh,” and “Joe Smo,” to endorse my 240p television that looks like it is from the living room of 70’s sex pest. Your tech companies name of “Penis Inc.” isn’t so funny anymore.

I understand that these are meant to be names from social media people (I’ve no idea who though) and a boxer; but why not make up a world of your very own celebrities, like any other piece of entertainment does? The Lustin Jimberlake’s and Bustin Beaver’s are there, with no straight man in the pairing. Thus there’s no comedy, and no enjoyment even out of a boring game.

With these cheap and easy knock-off names with Taylor Swift and Robert Downey, Jr. Tech Corp. falls flat. Then it all falls apart from there, with there being no real challenge, a lack of explanation to what you are paying for, and generally, a thrown together aesthetic. To explain the first and easiest, there is no punishment from failing your tech contracts. Of course, I’m no expert of the tech world (otherwise I’d be reviewing the CPU going into the new Switch), but I would assume you’d have some monetary fine in the contract between two companies. There are no bad relationships to avoid or financial failure, aside from going bankrupt.

The second on my shortlist of issues is once again financial. It has to do with the endorsement of products, or more so the promotion of them. When I have been assigning funds to the marketing department, I’ve given them more than enough to float a cruise ship in Scrooge McDuck’s vault. However, once I’d assigned a TV commercial to feature “Antony Loshua,” costing about ten-thousand dollars, I’d have seven-thousand dollars left. I added “Zmosh,” for five of those several thousand dollars left, however, I was informed I had inefficient funding. “How?” I asked.

It seems when you are creating trailers and commercials there is a set amount aside for the production. Someone should tell Mardonpol Inc. that this means telling me (and other players) how much is set aside for these projects. Do special effects cost more at a lower percentage than directing? I wouldn’t know as the twenty-five-thousand dollars I’ve put into making an ad with Taylor Swift dressed as a cat, doesn’t tell me. There’s an overall lack of explanation for your tools. Give me a hammer and i know what to do, but give me a Swiss army knife and Ikea furniture and I’m lost.

The third and final major gripe I have is the overall lack of base game. It has become commonplace to be relaxed on “early access” titles, we shouldn’t be. There are some fantastic early access titles out there including Factorio, Ravenfield, Besiege, Clone Drone in the Danger Zone, and The Dark Room. However, they all have something at the center of them, a tertiary activity to create a gameplay loop. Here there’s nothing more than a straight line that you walk back on to start over again.

I’m reminded of that Abe Simpson gif when he sees Bart working at the front desk of an adult establishment. The progression is this gif. You are walking around in circles going nowhere, doing nothing, and end up having to do the same thing over and over for the rest of time. There is just a lack of game in this gamified tech management game.

A PC Copy of Tech Corp. was provided by 2tainment GmbH for this review.

Phenixx Gaming is everywhere you are. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.